


The Things Unseen (Make The Soul Ache)

by AGJ1990



Series: Misc. Stories [9]
Category: Supernatural
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-24 18:40:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16645697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AGJ1990/pseuds/AGJ1990
Summary: Sam and Jess normal life AU. Sam and Jess's teenage daughter, Kayla, has been steadily getting into more and more trouble. After she sneaks out to a party and is caught drinking, Sam and Jess make the heartbreaking decision to send her across the country to live with her grandpa John. Will their decision mean losing Kayla forever?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The characters of Supernatural do not belong to me. The original characters of Kayla Winchester and Mary Winchester (Sam and Jess’s daughter Mary, not Sam’s mom) belong to me.

Had it been two years earlier, thirteen-year-old Kayla Winchester would have reveled in what she was doing at the moment. It would have been an adventure, something fun to prove that she was all grown up now. She would have looked forward to the trip for weeks, planning it to the last detail. Unfortunately, as the plane lifted off the ground, she hadn’t been given the opportunity. She hadn’t even known she was leaving until twelve hours earlier, after her parents had taken her to dinner and dropped the bomb on her. She was going to South Dakota to live with her grandfather. Whether she wanted to or not.

 

Kayla felt like an idiot. She should have known that her parents taking her out for dinner after the hell she’d put them through the last few months was too good to be true. She felt like an even bigger idiot for actually feeling guilty in the backseat of the car on the way to the restaurant. She’d made a pact with herself to get along better with them, to become the daughter they deserved. Despite what her father might think, she knew she was screwing up her life. She knew she was headed down a road that would likely end up with her dead. She also knew that she didn’t care about that.

 

What her parents didn’t know, Kayla had decided months earlier, couldn’t hurt them. If they did know, it would kill them. But protecting them had come at a cost. She couldn’t sleep, and when she did sleep, she had nightmares. She couldn’t tell her parents about the nightmares, so she spent most nights sitting up in bed crying until just before dawn. The lack of sleep led to her snapping at her parents, her little sister, her teachers, and anyone else who happened to be in her general vicinity. Her mother had tried to be patient, but Kayla could tell she was hurt. The two of them, according to her father, had been ‘thick as thieves’ from the moment Kayla had come out of the womb. Kayla recalled a home video she’d seen many times. She was an infant, just a few months old, not even able to talk yet. Her mother held a baby Kayla in her lap, holding her hands and talking to her about her day. Kayla was responding to everything her mother said, with coos and smiles and giggles, as her father spoke from behind the camera.

 

“You’re gonna be a little heartbreaker one day.”

 

As the plane began to level out and make its journey towards Washington state, Kayla’s anger reignited at the thought of her father. She knew this was his idea. Her mother was afraid to let Kayla out of her sight. Always had been. So the idea of moving her across the country would never have come from her mom. Another thought came to Kayla. The weekend before, she’d snuck out of the house to go to a party. She had, of course, been caught and dragged home by her father. It was far from her first time drinking, despite lying and telling both her parents that she’d never done it before. The night went exactly as she’d expected. After throwing up and getting the ‘how could you be so stupid as to drink?’ lecture from her father, Kayla prepared herself for the choice. She’d thought about it all the way home. Her mother didn’t believe in spanking and her father did. They had fought about it for a few years when Kayla had been really little, until finally they’d come to a compromise. Whenever Kayla, and eventually her little sister Mary, had gotten into trouble, they were given a choice. Get a spanking from Daddy, or take a punishment from mommy, usually of the extra chores or grounded for a couple of days variety. Kayla typically picked the spanking-it hurt, but was over relatively quickly. Given how angry her father was this time, she’d been leaning towards taking whatever her mother dished out.

 

Her parents had then laid out the first surprise of the week. No more choice. She was getting a spanking _and_ was grounded for an indefinite amount of time. The spanking had been intense. Her father had kept his promise to take his belt to her for the first time if she drank before the age of twenty-one. Sobbing hard at the end of it, her dad had tried to pull her in for a hug, but she’d just pushed him away. Sam had told her he loved her and sent her to bed, reminding her that she was to come straight home from school every day or risk going through the whole ordeal again. Kayla went to bed that night with her head, throat, butt, and heart all aching at the same time-feeling a familiar sense of drowning with no one to pull her out.

 

 _That’s the night it started_ , Kayla thought. Her parents had both become distant after that night. Her mom would greet her and offer her hugs, but wouldn’t try to get her to talk about her day anymore. Her father would see her out of her room and tell her to go back, even if she was just trying to use the bathroom. The first and only time she’d snapped at him that she was just trying to use the bathroom had earned her five hard swats on the seat of her pants. Her father hadn’t even tried to comfort her that time, just gripped her arm tight and spoke low and soft into her ear.

 

“I’ve had it. I’m done with this. Get to your room and stay there _now._ Am I understood?”

 

“Yes, sir.” Kayla had said through her gritted teeth.

 

Sam had released her, and Kayla had seen a spark of regret in his eye. She waited a moment before turning and leaving, hoping for something that she couldn’t quite identify. An ‘I love you’? An ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to grab you like that’? A confirmation that he hated her and didn’t want her anymore? None of that came.

 

“Go on.” he’d said sadly.

 

That had been the night she’d had the dream. She was five or six, walking down the sidewalk with her parents. She held her father’s hand in one of hers, and her mother’s in the other. They were swinging her back and forth, making her giggle so much her tummy hurt. Suddenly, a black cloud appeared in front of them. Mommy and Daddy stopped swinging her, and both knelt down in front of her. They looked sad, and both explained that they couldn’t keep her anymore. That they loved her, but she didn’t deserve them, so they were sending her away. Despite her crying and begging them to come back, despite her apologies and promises to be a good girl, they’d simply kissed her cheek and started to walk away. The cloud came forward, picked her up, and led her away.

 

Kayla had been shaken out of that dream by a pair of hands shaking her. When she’d opened her eyes and calmed down, it wasn’t her mom or dad as it had been every other time she’d had a bad dream. It was five-year-old Mary, looking scared and afraid at whatever monster was making her big sister cry. Mary had insisted on getting in bed with Kayla, and had poked and prodded until Kayla finally told Mary what she’d been dreaming of. Mary had looked at Kayla as if she was speaking Martian and proclaimed,

 

“That’s stupid. Mommy and Daddy wouldn’t send you away. Mommies and Daddies don’t do that. They’re supposed to love you no matter what.”

Kayla had laughed, tousled Mary’s hair again, and fallen asleep with Mary in her bed. She’d found genuine comfort in what Mary had said, but the stalemate stayed in place. Then, two days later, on Friday night, Sam and Jess had told her they were going to dinner ‘to talk’. They’d taken her to her favorite place, Mama Rita’s, and dropped the news.  Twelve hours of furious silence on Kayla’s part, tears and begging for understanding on her mother’s part, and a different, more infuriating silence on her father’s part later, Kayla was sitting in her plane seat on the way to Washington.

 

She hadn’t even been allowed to say goodbye to her baby sister. That, to Kayla, was the worst part. Mary seemed to be the only person who actually wanted her around. But her father had refused, saying that they would tell Mary after she was gone and she’d be ‘allowed’ to talk to Mary over the phone after that. She thought back for a moment to the way she’d left things at security. Jess had given her a hug, and Sam had knelt down in front of her and begged her to listen. When Kayla wouldn’t even look at him, he’d grabbed her hand and frowned when she flinched. She’d seen him, out of the corner of her eye, swallow hard and, for the first time in a week, actually talk to her.

 

“I know you lied about that party being the first time you ever drank. I know you’ve probably done things your mom and I don’t know about. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but I love you. I love you so much. But I can’t watch you kill yourself anymore. Neither of us can. And with the road you’re on, that’s where you’re headed. I don’t have it in me to bury you.” Kayla’s stony silence had continued, so Sam pushed on. “This doesn’t have to be forever. When you’re ready to talk, really talk, about coming home, I promise I’ll listen. But we all need some space from each other. I need you to think about why you’re doing what you’re doing. Really think about it. Okay?”

 

 _I know why I do it_ , Kayla had thought to herself. _Trust me, you don’t want this._

“You should get going. Let us know when you get there, okay?” Sam had said. “Can I have a hug bye?”

 

Kayla had finally looked him in the eye and said the first thing she’d said all day. “When you tell Mary what you did tonight, ask her what she said the night she slept in my room earlier this week.”

 

She’d seen the confused look on Sam’s face when she said that, but she’d grabbed her bag and started going through security. What Kayla hadn’t seen, as she turned the corner to head to her gate with the flight attendant assigned to help her through the flight, was her father’s eyes fill with tears that started spilling faster than he could control them. She hadn’t seen him hit his knees weeping, leaning into Jess who tried to convince him, despite her earlier doubts, that they were doing the right thing. She hadn’t seen them go to the car, Sam still crying and praying that she didn’t hate him. Just like Sam and Jess hadn’t seen how broken Kayla was inside. How she loved them and wanted them to know she loved them, but didn’t know how to tell them anymore.

 

How she hoped they didn’t hate her either.


	2. Chapter 2

John hadn’t been quite sure what to expect when the plane landed, but a quiet, dejected Kayla hadn’t been it. The way Sam had described the situation, he’d expected Kayla to show up angry, perhaps pouting and defiant. But instead, she’d simply walked out slowly, holding her bag and looking exhausted. It had taken a minute for Kayla to spot him, but when she did, she’d walked up to him, placed her bag down on the floor, and given him a tight hug around the waist.

 

“How you doing, sweetie?”

 

“Been better.” Kayla said quietly.

 

“Why don’t we go get something to eat?” John said. “Are you hungry?”

 

Kayla pulled away and nodded. “Yes, sir.” She yawned loudly and rubbed her eyes.

 

“After we eat, I think someone needs a nap.”

 

“Yes, sir.” Kayla said quietly.

 

John knew right away something was wrong with her. Kayla had never liked taking naps, fighting her parents and him on bedtime every time the dreaded ‘sleep’ word was uttered. John took her to the local diner, where she answered questions with the absolute least amount of words she could use and still be respectful. John had thought about waiting until they got back home before discussing Kayla’s time with him, but he decided to cut the small talk.

 

“Alright, kiddo. Let’s talk.”

 

“About what?” Kayla asked.

 

“Kayla Ellen Winchester, look me in the eye.” John said.

 

When Kayla looked up, John was immediately transported back to her younger days. She looked like a hurt, scared three-year-old rather a teenager.

 

“What’s going on?” John asked.

 

“I messed up.” Kayla said simply.

 

“I know you messed up. Your dad told me everything. What I want to know is _why_ you messed up.” John said. “This isn’t like you. Help me understand it.”

 

For a brief moment, Kayla considered telling her grandfather everything. Telling him about the bad dreams she’d kept from her parents. About what started them in the first place. Just like he’d expected her to be angry, she’d expected the same from him. But she couldn’t tell him. So she shook her head and said,

 

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? You don’t know why you snuck out of the house and went to a party and drank at thirteen? You don’t know why you’ve been snapping at your parents, your little sisters, your teachers? Why your grades have dropped like a stone?” John asked, his voice easily dropping back into the old drill sergeant mode that had been natural with Sam and Dean, but scarce with his grandchildren. “You don’t know why any of this is happening?”

 

Kayla, not used to being chewed out by her grandfather, had dropped her eyes back to the table. “No, sir.”

 

“Kayla, look at me.” John said again.

 

Kayla looked back up, worried at her grandfather’s harshness.

 

“I don’t know why you’re lying to me. But I’m not going to press. I have a feeling that if I do, you’ll just shut down and not talk to me about anything. But I expect you to tell me one day.” John waited a moment before speaking again, taking note at the flicker of fear that went through Kayla’s eyes. “Understand?”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“Okay. Now we need to discuss the rules for when you’re here. Your dad wanted me to enforce his grounding while you’re here. But I’m not gonna do that.” John said.

 

“Really?” Kayla asked, shocked at his generosity.

 

“Really.” John said with a smile. “Bobby and I talked a lot about it last night, and we decided that you deserve a second chance here. But you’re on your _last_ chance. You’re old enough to know the rules. Be respectful. Pick up after yourself. Do what Bobby and I tell you to do, when we tell you to do it, and no arguing. You don’t follow any of those rules, you get one warning, and then I will put you right back on your dad’s grounding. Understand?”

 

“I understand.” Kayla said. “Thank you, grandpa.”

 

“One more thing. If I catch you drinking, sneaking out, or doing anything else dangerous or illegal, I will not hesitate to make that whipping your dad gave you look like a walk in the park. I will spank you when I find you, and every single day for a week before you go to bed. Understood?”

 

“Understood.” Kayla said.

 

“Alright.” John said. “Now that that’s out of the way, I have one more question for you. No getting out of this one.”

 

“What’s that?”

 

“Why are you so sad?” John asked. “You’ve looked ready to cry ever since you got here.”

Kayla’s bottom lip began to shake. “They sent me away.”

 

“Your mom and dad?”

 

Kayla nodded and wiped her eyes.

 

“I know you’re upset. I don’t blame you.” John said. “But I can promise you that this wasn’t easy on them either.”

 

“It hurts.” Kayla admitted. “They got tired of me and sent me away. Like I’m some bad gift they got and returned.”

 

“Sweetheart, listen to me. Your mom and dad are not tired of you. They love you. But I want you to think about this. How do you think your mom and dad feel when you treat them the way you’ve treated them?”

 

“Pretty bad, I guess.” Kayla said.

 

“And your dad said you and him have been arguing a lot more lately. Is that true?”

 

“Yes, sir.” Kayla said.

 

“Well, look on the bright side. You spend a little time with me, calm down some, and maybe things can start getting better between you three.” John said.

 

“Maybe.” Kayla said, though she said it just to appease him and hoping he would change the subject. “Can we go to the house now? I’m pretty tired.”

 

John knew right away that Kayla was blowing him off, but knew better than to press. He’d been through enough to see that something was hurting Kayla. Something buried deep, that she didn’t want to let out. And in the true Winchester fashion, she didn’t want to burden anyone else with it, so she told everyone that everything was okay.

 

 _I’ll find out if it kills me_ , John thought to himself.

 

Back at Sam and Jess’s, the atmosphere was still thick and tense. Sam and Jess sat in the car outside in the driveway, dreading walking in and talking to Mary. They had dropped Mary off with Dean the night before, before taking Kayla to dinner. Sam jumped when he felt Jess take his hand.   


“Sorry.” She said kindly. “You okay?”

 

“No.” Sam said honestly. “No, I’m not.”

 

“What are you thinking?”

 

Sam sighed. “That she’s gonna hate us forever.”

 

“She won’t.” Jess said. “I promise.”

 

“How can you be so sure?”

 

“Mommy knows.” Jess said, using a phrase with him that Sam had heard her use with the two girls many times.

 

“I don’t know. I hated my dad being away all the time. I didn’t forgive him for a long time.”

 

“You said it yourself.” Jess said. “It’s better for her to hate us for a little while than to get that phone call that she’s…” Jess shuddered, the thought of even finishing her sentence too much.

 

“I know.” Sam said. “I know.”

 

“And we’re not abandoning her there. She can call anytime she wants. We’ll go to see her. We haven’t left her, Sam. She’s just gonna be in a different place for a while.” Jess assured him. “Okay?”

 

Sam nodded. “Thanks.”

 

“You ready to do this? Or you want to wait for later?”

 

“No. Let’s do it.” Sam said. “Better to swallow the pill now.”

 

“Hey.” Jess said, squeezing Sam’s hand and kissing it. “We’ll be okay.”

 

“I hope so.” Sam said. “Let’s go.”

 

As they walked into the house, Kayla’s words in the airport were rolling around in his head. _When you tell Mary what you did tonight, ask her what she said the night she slept in my room earlier this week._ Sam grabbed the doorknob, and Jess squeezed his other hand again. Sam looked over at her, and could hear the silent conversation that Jess was trying to have with him. _You’re a good dad. It will be okay, even if it’s not right now._ Sam just nodded and prepared to open the door, before it was opened for him.

 

“Boo!”

 

Sam jumped at the small fright, then started to smile when Mary laughed at him from the doorway. She had on the Halloween mask that had been part of her costume the year before, a ghost. Jess picked up Mary, making her ‘silly girl’ giggle as she took her over to the couch and tickled her. Sam stepped in and closed the door. Dean was standing in the doorway to the kitchen.

 

“Did I scare you, Daddy?”  


“You sure did, baby.” Sam said with a sad smile.

 

“Daddy? You okay? You look sad.”

 

 _Straight to the point_ , Sam thought.

 

“Daddy and I need to talk to you, sweetie.” Jess said. “We need you to listen to us really good, okay?”

 

Mary grabbed the lobes of her ears and squeezed slightly. “Listenin’, mommy.”

 

Mary’s gesture squeezed the hearts of both parents. Kayla had taught her that.

 

“Sam? You want me to stay?” Dean asked.

 

Sam looked to Jess, who simply nodded. _We might need him_ , Jess said silently. “Yeah. Thanks, Dean.”

 

Dean watched Sam closely as he sat down. The two of them had been through things that most other people could scarcely imagine, but Dean could see the way this was weighing on Sam. His shoulders sagged, his face was still puffy from crying, and Dean could see that he wanted to cry again and was just holding it in for Mary’s sake. Dean had watched his niece’s change in behavior almost as closely as Sam and Jess had, and while he had been surprised with Sam’s decision to send Kayla to live with John, he secretly agreed with it. He saw nothing but a bleak future for Kayla if something drastic wasn’t done. But clearly, it tore Sam’s soul and broke his heart. Though Dean didn’t have any children of his own, he had raised Sam, and wanted nothing more than to take his brother’s pain away from him.

 

_Oh, little brother. We’ll get through this together. All of us._

“Mommy, where’s sissy?” Mary asked. “Why wasn’t she home when uncle Dean brought me back?”

 

Jess looked over at Sam, who looked pained at Mary’s question. Jess touched his shoulder. _I got this._ Sam nodded, staying silent for the moment.

 

“Sweetheart, Kayla’s not gonna be living with us for a while.”

 

“What? Why not?” Mary asked, her cheerfulness from just a few seconds earlier changing to bewilderment and fear. “Where’s she?”

 

Jess took a deep breath and explained as simply as possible, “Your daddy and I decided that it was best for your sister to go live with your grandpa John for a while.”

 

“What?” Mary asked. “You mean you really did send her away?”

 

“What do you mean ‘really did send her away’?” Sam asked.

 

“Sissy had a bad dream that you were gonna send her away because you didn’t want her anymore.”

 

“When was this?”

 

“Two nights ago.” Mary said. “She was really scared and I told her not to be.” Mary started crying, but when Sam tried to rub her back, she pushed his hand away. “I feel really stupid now.”

 

“Why?” Jess asked.

 

“Because I told her mommies and daddies don’t do that. They don’t send you away.” Mary said, glaring at both of them.

 

“Honey, I know it’s hard to understand, but this is for the best…” Jess said.

 

“How?” Mary asked. “You always said you loved us no matter how bad we were.”

 

“I do. Daddy and I both do.”

 

“How do you love Kayla when she’s not here?” Mary asked, tears starting to come down quickly. “You’re supposed to make bad dreams go away. You made hers come true.”

 

Mary leapt off the couch and ran down the hall towards Kayla’s room. Her stunned parents heard her jump on the bed and start weeping. Sam propelled himself up off the couch and out the door, while Jess ran a hand through her hair, grateful that it was Saturday and no one had work or school to go to. _Even if that would be a good distraction right now._

 

“You okay?”

 

Jess laughed humorlessly. “I’m not sure I even know what ‘okay’ is right now.”

 

“Fair.”

 

“Dean? Did we do the right thing here?” Jess asked.

 

“She’s not my kid. It’s your call.”

 

“You raised Sam. You get a call.” Jess said.

 

Dean sighed. “It’s not like there’s a handbook for this. But yes, I think you did the right thing. And I think, eventually, Kayla will see that too.”

 

“I expected her to fight us, but she didn’t. We told her, and she just went quiet. She didn’t say a word to me or Sam until she was leaving.”

 

“What did she say?”

 

“To ask Mary what she said the night they slept together in Kayla’s room.” Jess said. It suddenly occurred to her that Mary had answered the question without it being asked. “Damn it.”

 

“What?”

 

“What Mary said. ‘Mommies and daddies don’t do that.’ How the hell do I explain this to her?” Jess asked.

 

Dean moved from the kitchen to sit next to Jess. “Just tell her that Kayla had to go away for a while to get herself sorted out. That she’ll come back happier and more like herself. That it might hurt for a while, but in the end it’ll be worth it.”

 

“Was that for me or for her?”

 

“Both.” Dean said, smiling. “Why don’t I go talk to Sam and you go talk to Mary?”

 

“Deal.” Jess agreed. “Hey, Dean? Thanks. For everything.”

 

“You got it.”

 

Jess headed down the hall to Kayla’s room, where she found a heartbroken Mary on top of Kayla’s bed, gripping Kayla’s teddy bear in a suffocating chokehold. Jess walked in and sat down, but Mary either didn’t notice or didn’t acknowledge her mother’s presence. Jess reached over and started to cautiously rub her back, and was relieved when Mary didn’t back away like she’d done with Sam in the living room.

 

“You’re not supposed to be in Sissy’s room unless she says it’s okay.” Jess said gently.

 

Mary hiccupped and turned her big, wet, brown eyes on her mom. “She doesn’t like you and daddy in here. She said I could come to her bed when I didn’t feel safe.”

 

“Why don’t you feel safe?”

 

“’Cause I thought mommies and daddies was supposed to take care of you ‘till you’re all growed up.” Mary said. “Even when you’re acting bad.”

 

“Honey, I know this is hard for you to understand.”

 

“What about if I don’t eat my dinner? If I don’t take a bath or I get in trouble at school? I’m scared, mommy. You’ll send me away too.” Mary said.

 

“Sweetie, stop. Take a breath.” Jess said. She led Mary through a few deep breaths, then explained, “Daddy and I did not send Kayla away because she was in trouble.”

 

“You didn’t?”

 

“No. We would never do that, to you or to her.” Jess said. “We sent Kayla away because something is making her really, really sad.”

 

“But you guys hug me or hold me when I’m sad.”

 

“And we would have done that for Kayla if she’d let us.” Jess said. “For some reason, Kayla couldn’t get better staying at home. So we sent her to grandpa’s to give her some space and help her get better. Okay? Does that make sense?”

 

“I guess.” Mary said. “Why didn’t you let me say goodbye?”

 

“Because everyone was already upset enough.” Jess said honestly. “But I promise you can talk to Kayla tonight before you go to sleep.”

 

Mary nodded. “Okay, mommy.”

 

“Do you have any other questions?” Jess asked.

 

“Will Kayla be back tomorrow?”

 

“No. Not tomorrow. But one day. I promise.” Jess said.

 

“Can we go see her? Can she visit us?”

 

“We will definitely go and see her. If she’s gone long enough, yes, we will let her come visit.” Jess said.

 

Mary nodded, apparently satisfied with Jess’s answers.

 

“I think someone needs a nap.” Jess said with a smile.

 

“No nap.” Mary said with a familiar pout.

 

Jess smiled and decided to try a different route. “Mommy needs one. Will you lay down with me?”

 

“Will daddy come too?”

 

“I bet he would if you asked him.” Jess said. “You want to go outside and ask?”

 

“Sure.” Mary said. She looked at the teddy bear in her hand. “Mommy? If Kayla wants Jackie, can we mail him to her?”

 

“We sure can. Come on.” Jess picked up the sleepy Mary and took her outside.

 

As Jess talked to Mary, Dean stepped outside and found Sam leaning against the trunk of his car. He looked more exhausted than Dean had ever seen him. Sam’s head was down when Dean first approached, and Dean hoped he wasn’t crying again.

 

“Hey.”

 

Sam looked up and smiled sadly. “Hey.”

 

“How’s it goin’?”

 

“Well, neither of my kids wants anything to do with me. They don’t even want me to touch them. So things are just perfect right now.”

 

“Come on, Sam. You’re being too hard on yourself.” Dean said.

 

“Am I?” Sam asked. “Dean, what kind of parent…?”

 

“Daddy?”

 

Sam turned to find Jess holding a tired Mary on her shoulder. “Hey, bug. You okay?”

 

“Yeah. I’m okay.” Mary said. “I’m sorry I gotted mad at you, Daddy.”

 

“It’s okay.” Sam said sincerely. “Did mommy talk to you?”

 

“Yeah. She said you guys sent Kayla to grandpa’s ‘cause she was sad and couldn’t get better here. Is that right?”

 

“That’s right.” Sam said.

 

“Mary was worried we’d send her away too just because she got in trouble.”

 

“Never.” Sam said firmly. “Never, baby. We would never punish you by sending you away from home.”

 

“You promise Kayla’s coming back? It’s not forever?”

 

“It’s not forever.” Sam promised.

 

“’Kay, Daddy.” Mary said. “Me and mommy’s gonna take a nap. Will you come wif us? Please?”

“Sure, baby.” Sam said.

 

“I’m heading home.” Dean said. “Call me if you need me. Okay?”

 

“Sure. Thanks, Dean.”

 

As Dean went to the Impala to head back to his own apartment, Sam accepted a hug from Mary. As good as it felt to be back in a somewhat good place with Mary, Sam couldn’t help the thought that crossed his mind, that made his heart hurt every time it beat.

 

_Kayla should be here._


	3. Chapter 3

“Kayla. Wake up, sweetheart.”

 

Kayla stirred in bed, but she didn’t wake up. John tried to call her again. He hated shaking anyone awake, with his own reaction being violent to it. When he tried a third time, and Kayla didn’t wake up, John approached and carefully placed a hand on her shoulder.

 

“Kayla. Wake up. It’s time for dinner.”

 

John was shocked when Kayla jumped up and scrambled to the corner of the bed. “Don’t touch me!”

 

“Sorry, sweetie.” John said, putting his hands up in the air. “I just came to wake you up for dinner.”

 

“Oh.” Kayla’s rapidly beating heart started to slow down when she realized she was safe. “Sorry, grandpa. You scared me.”

 

“It’s okay. You want to talk about it?”

 

“Nothing to talk about.” Kayla said a little too quickly to be believed. “You just scared me, that’s all.”

 

“You sure?” John asked.

 

“Yes, sir.” Kayla said. “I’m just still tired. That’s all.”

 

“Okay.” John said, deciding not to push it again. “Come on. Dinner’s ready.”

 

“I’ll be right there. I’m just gonna wash my face.”

 

John went down to the kitchen and Kayla went to the bathroom. When she looked at herself in the mirror, the familiar thoughts came floating back. _You’re ugly. No one wants you._ She shook her head to force the ugly thoughts out, even though she felt they were true. She washed her face like she told John, trying not to relive the dream she’d had during her nap. It had been the same one she’d had before, with her parents swinging her on the sidewalk and the black cloud taking her away. But there was a new, even crueler twist this time. As the black cloud took her away, she could see her parents on the sidewalk, laughing as she was carried away kicking and screaming. John called up to the bathroom when she didn’t come down, and Kayla wiped her face and headed down.

 

“Well if you ain’t a sight for sore eyes.”

 

Kayla smiled a genuine smile for the first time that day. “Hi, uncle Bobby.”

 

“Where’s my hug?”

 

Kayla grabbed Bobby around the waist, the first person she’d been happy to see for a while. Bobby hadn’t been home when she and John returned from lunch, so Kayla had gone straight up to sleep.

 

“I’m glad you’re here, kid.”

 

Kayla wanted to weep when Bobby said that. She’d done nothing but make everyone miserable for months. To feel wanted again was an amazing feeling.

 

“You hungry? I made your favorite.”

 

Kayla turned to the table and her mouth fell open. “Pork chops! Thanks, uncle Bobby!”

 

“You’re welcome, kid. Sit down, come on.”

 

Thought dinner was delicious, Kayla wondered when the other shoe would drop. When Bobby would start lecturing her, telling her what she was doing was dangerous and would get her killed. Everything everyone else had felt the need to tell her over and over again. When she was done with dinner, she helped do dishes and got her bath. It was 8:30, and Kayla came back downstairs, where Bobby was working at his desk and John was watching an old movie on TV.

 

“You want to watch with me, kiddo?”

 

“Sure.” Kayla joined him on the slightly ratty looking but surprisingly comfortable couch.

 

A few minutes passed in silence before John spoke. “What are you thinking about?”

 

“Daddy asked me to call to tell them I was here.”

 

“I called them while you were sleeping.” John said.

 

“What did they say?”

 

“Your mom said to tell you she wants to talk to you, but it’s up to you. To call whenever you’re ready.” John said.

 

“Okay. Thanks.”

 

“Are you going to call them?” John asked.

 

“I don’t know.” Kayla said. “I want to talk to my mom.”

 

“So call her. It’s okay if you’re upset with your dad and want to wait a little bit. Just don’t wait too long, okay?”

 

“Okay. Thanks, grandpa. I’m gonna go call mom.” Kayla said.

“Sounds like a plan. After that, I want you to go to bed.” Kayla scrunched her face in a way that reminded him of feeding her a lemon at the age of eighteen months, making him chuckle. “Relax. I know it’s early. You don’t have to go to sleep right away, but I can tell you’re still tired. But after this, your bedtime on the weekends is ten, and after that it’s 9:30.”

 

“Even though I’m not in school?” Kayla said, trying to crack a smile and get him to change his mind.

 

“You will be soon enough.” John said. “School starts here in two weeks.”

 

“It’s July!”

 

“Year-round, kiddo.” John said.

 

“Oh.” Kayla suddenly realized how permanent this arrangement actually was.

 

“What’s wrong?” John asked. “You didn’t think your dad would ask me to take care of you and not send you to school did you?”

 

“No. It’s just…nothing. Never mind. Good night, grandpa. Good night, uncle Bobby.”

 

Kayla rushed out of the room and into the kitchen, where the cordless phone labeled ‘Home’ was mounted on the wall. Dad had always warned her that the ones labeled ‘FBI’, ‘CIA’, ‘CDC’, and other things were for Bobby’s work and not to ever, ever, ever ask him about it. Still feeling the slightest bit of defiance towards her father, she thought about asking later in the week just out of spite. She decided against it. She did want to make things better with her father, even if the thought of talking to him right now made her want to smash everything breakable around. Kayla picked up the home phone and dialed the number, her breath catching when it started to ring. After three rings, the voice she was waiting on filled her ears and pricked her heart again.

 

“John?”

 

Kayla swallowed, biting back more tears. She hadn’t realized how badly she wanted her mother until she heard her voice.

 

“John? Is Kayla okay?”

 

“It’s me, mom.” Kayla said.

 

A slightly shocked Jess simply said “Oh” before Kayla could actually hear her smile. “Hi, sweetie.”

 

“Hi.” Kayla said, trying to stop her furiously hitching breath.

 

“Are you okay? How was your flight?”

 

“It was fine.” Kayla said. The small talk was too much.

 

“You sound like you’re crying, honey.”

 

 _Not yet,_ Kayla thought. “No. I’m just going to bed in a minute.”

 

“Already?”

  
“Yeah. Grandpa wants me to go to sleep early tonight.” Kayla said simply.

 

“I see. Look, your dad’s standing right here, do you want to talk to him too?” Jess asked.

 

“No.” Kayla said simply.

 

Jess sighed. “Kay…”

 

“I’m not saying never, mom. Just not right now.” Kayla said. “Just give me some time. Please?”

 

A short pause and Kayla heard the phone shake a little. She could see in her mind’s eye her mom look at Sam and shake her head. She pictured her father’s hurt expression, saw him bite his bottom lip, close his eyes, and blink to stop tears from coming. _Just like me right now._

 

“Okay, sweetie. How about your sister?”

 

“Yeah, I want to talk to Mary.” Kayla said.

 

“Okay. But first, I want to tell you something. Don’t be mad at her for this, but Mary told us about your nightmare the other night.”

 

 _Little snitch_ , Kayla couldn’t help but think.

 

“Kayla, I’m sorry. Daddy and I had no idea you were feeling that way. Why didn’t you say something?”

 

“I honestly didn’t think you’d care.” Kayla said honestly.

 

“Listen to me. That is not true. No matter how much trouble you might be in, Daddy and I always care if you are hurting or scared or lonely. That is always something you can come to us with.”

 

 _Not when I’m across the country from you_ , Kayla thought but didn’t say. “Okay, mom.”

 

“I put something in your suitcase. In the front pocket. I want you to take it out and read it before you go to sleep.”

 

“I will, mom.” Kayla said.

“Okay. I’ll talk to you later. I love you.”

 

“Goodnight, mom.” Kayla said, the _I love you too_ that she knew Jess needed to hear stuck in her throat.

 

A second later, a much more excited voice filled the phone. “Sissy!”

 

“Hi. How are you?”

 

“Sissy, I’m sorry.” Mary said right away.  
  
“Sorry for what?”

 

“That I told you mommy and daddy wouldn’t send you away. I really didn’t think they would.” Mary said.

 

“I know, pooh bear. Don’t apologize, it’s not your fault.” Kayla said.

 

“Do you want Jackie? Mommy said we’d mail him to you if you did.”

 

Kayla hadn’t even thought about the old teddy bear on her bed. “No. Will you take care of him for me?”

 

“Sure. Can I sleep on your bed ‘till you come back?”

 

“You bet you can.” Kayla said. “Listen, I want you to do something for me.”

 

“What?”

 

“I want you to tell mommy and daddy both ‘I love you’ and give them super tight hugs every single night that I’m gone. Okay?”

 

“I do that anyway.” Mary said proudly.

 

“Yeah, but I want you to give them two each. One from you and one from me. But don’t tell them the second one’s from me. Deal?”

 

“Why don’t you want them to know?” Mary asked.

 

“I’ll tell them when I’m ready. Promise me?”

 

“Promise, Sissy. I love you.”

 

“I love you too. I love you more than anything, Mary.” Kayla said. “Sweet dreams.”

 

“Sleep good, Kay’a.” Mary said, yawning into the phone. “Don’t have no bad dreams.”

“I’ll do my best.” Kayla said. “Hey, Mary?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Be good, okay? Take care of mommy and daddy for me.” Kayla said.   


“I will. Gotta go, Sissy. Mommy ready to tuck me in.”

 

Kayla hung up the phone at that. She hadn’t been tucked in in years, but she suddenly felt overwhelming jealousy at her sister. The thought of her mom and dad sitting over her bed, talking to her or singing to her, brought a painful lump to her throat. But the tears still wouldn’t come, and Kayla made the slow walk down the hall towards her room.

 

At Sam and Jess’s, Mary had finally fallen asleep, and Sam and Jess were lying in their bed, minds swirling over the phone conversation with Kayla. Sam hadn’t said anything about Kayla not talking to him, and had his nose buried in a book that he was staring holes through.

 

“Talk to me.” Jess said.

 

“About what?”

 

“Don’t play that game. You know about what.” Jess said.

 

Sam closed the book and placed it beside him. “She didn’t want to talk to me, Jess. What is there to talk about?”

 

“Does it bother you?”

 

“Of course it does! It kills me.” Sam said emotionally. “Then to hear Mary say she thinks we don’t want her…”

 

“I told Kayla it wasn’t true.” Jess said. “That we do care about her. That she can always come to us if she’s hurt, scared, or lonely.”

 

“What did she say?”

 

“I don’t think she believed me.” Jess said.

 

Sam squirmed. “Yeah, I don’t think I’ve given her much reason to think so.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I mean ever since I spanked her for going to that party, I was so hurt that she pushed me away that I made her stay in her room.” Sam said.

 

“Sam, she was grounded. She was supposed to be in her room.”

“Yeah, but she couldn’t even go to the bathroom without me jumping down her throat.” Sam explained. “What if she tried to tell me and I just didn’t let her?”

 

“Tell her that.” Jess said. “When you do talk to her, tell her that. Maybe she’ll open up some more if she feels like she’s not the only one who messed up here.”

 

“Maybe you’re right.” Sam said. “I just miss her.”

 

“I know. Me too.” Jess reached over and turned off the lamp next to their bed. “Let’s get some sleep.”

 

Before the two of them turned over for sleep, Jess checked the clock. 10:00 on the dot. Jess looked out the window, at the moon hanging just above the house.

 

“Sleep tight, Kayla bug. Mommy loves you.”

 

Back at Bobby and John’s, Kayla was holding the letter that she’d found in the front pocket of her suitcase, right where her mother had said it would be. The front of the envelope was blank, and Kayla gripped it so hard that her knuckles matched the white color of it. Kayla felt a paralyzing fear of what was in that letter. She imagined her mother’s voice in her mind saying all the things she was afraid of. _I know your secret. You’re disgusting. I never want to see you again, and neither does your father. Don’t ever come around us again._

“Shut up.” Kayla said, squeezing her eyes shut tight and ripping open the envelope. Better to rip the bandage off and find out for sure.

 

_Hey my sweet girl._

_Well, things are a mess, aren’t they?_

_I don’t know exactly how you must be feeling right now. I know it must feel awful to have to leave mommy and daddy. And I know that no matter how hard I try right now, I won’t be able to convince you that this is just as hard for us as it is for you._

_When I was pregnant with you, I was scared. I was terrified. I didn’t know if I’d be a good mommy to you. Your daddy kept telling me I was being silly. That I would be the best mommy in the whole wide world. Well, he must have been right. Because I helped raise the sweetest, kindest, funniest baby girl anyone could have ever had. When you were a baby, you’d laugh even when you were hurt or sick. You’d see me or your daddy angry or upset and grab our face and make us look at you until we smiled again._

_When you were six, you asked me how much I loved you. I tried to tell you a lot, but you didn’t let me get away with that. “No, mommy. I know you love me a lot. I want to know how much.” So I took you outside and showed you the stars up in the sky. I told you to count them._

_“I can’t count that high, mommy.”_

_I told you then that mommy loved you more than all the stars in the sky. I’ll never forget the smile you gave me when I told you that. You begged me to pick you up and hold you and watch the stars with you. I grabbed a beach chair and a blanket and we sat outside watching the stars until you fell asleep. I don’t know if you remember that, but it’s one of my favorite memories of us._

_I will miss you, baby, but the truth is I’ve missed you for a few months now. You tried to hide it underneath the attitude and the acting out, but I can see it. Something is hurting you, baby. I don’t know what it is, and maybe you don’t exactly know either. But maybe some time away from home can help you figure out what it is. When you do figure it out, Daddy and I will be there to help you. Until then, please just know that we care about and love you so very, very much._

_I know you probably blame your father for this. The truth is, he did have to talk me into it, but I do agree with him. So if you’re going to stay angry at him, you should stay angry at me too. But there’s something you should know. Your father would kill me if he knew I told you this, but he cried himself to sleep tonight holding on to an old picture that you drew for him. He may be tough on you, honey, sometimes too tough, but he loves you. Your father’s heart beats for you, me, and your sister. He wants nothing but the best for you, and it breaks his heart to see you in so much pain. Just don’t stay mad at him for too long, okay?_

_I want you to know that, when you do figure out what it is making you hurt like you are, mommy will be there. Don’t be scared to tell me because you think I’ll be mad over anything you’ve done. I forgive you, honey, even if you don’t forgive yourself. There is nothing, **NOTHING** , that could ever take away my love for you. NOTHING. When you start wondering how mommy feels about you, just repeat that out loud or to yourself. ‘Mommy loves me and nothing can ever change that’. _

_I have an idea. It may sound pretty lame, but hear me out. Every night, at exactly nine your time (ten o’clock here) I’m gonna look out the window and up at the moon for thirty seconds. I’ll tell you I love you and blow you a kiss. I promise you, no matter what, I’ll do it, even if you don’t. But think about it. If we’re both looking up at the same time, telling each other we love each other, then for a few seconds every single day, we’ll be together._

_I’ll let you go now, baby. Just remember-mommy loves me and nothing can ever change that._

_Hugs and kisses,_

_Mommy_

John ran from the living room down the hall to Kayla’s room. He could hear her crying all the way down the hall. He had his gun drawn, scared that something had broken in and was hurting her. When he found her, she was shaking and sobbing. A crumpled up letter lay on the floor next to the bed. When he picked it up and read it, he realized what had made her so upset and took a seat on the bed. He was surprised when, instead of continuing to sit there crying, Kayla launched herself into his lap and wrapped both arms tightly around his neck.

 

“Sweetheart…”

 

“Why am I so messed up?” Kayla asked between sobs.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

When Kayla didn’t answer, John just held her and rocked her for a few moments. It felt strange after so long, but Kayla didn’t let him go or give any indication that she was planning to do so.

 

“Come on. Let’s lay down and go to sleep.”

 

Kayla nearly suffocated John by squeezing his neck even tighter. “No. No, don’t leave me, please.”

 

“I won’t, honey. I won’t.”

 

“Please, don’t go, grandpa. Please, just hold me. Don’t go.”

 

“I’m right here.” John said. “Shhhh. I’m right here, baby girl. I’ve got you.

 

Fifteen minutes later, John was laying an exhausted Kayla down into bed. He covered her with her blanket, then picked up the letter from Jess and laid it on the nightstand. As he turned to leave the room, he took another look at the sleeping Kayla.

 

“What’s hurting you so bad, sweetheart?”


	4. Chapter 4

John had never been a man to walk on eggshells. He didn’t believe in tiptoeing to spare anyone’s feelings or avoid a fight. It had probably caused many arguments between him and Sam in Sam’s teenage years, and, if he was completely honest with himself, he regretted it to a degree. Maybe if he had tried a little harder, at least sometimes, to be nicer to Sam, maybe…

 

John shook his head to clear it. Dwelling on the past wouldn’t do any good. He and Sam had worked out their differences, even if they didn’t completely agree on what exactly had to be worked out. Sam had given John permission to see his grandchildren under the strict condition that they never be told about hunting. John didn’t agree with keeping them completely in the dark, but he kept his mouth shut. He was grateful every day that Sam was back in his life, and that their relationship was at the point that Sam trusted him with his children’s welfare.

 

Which was what was currently driving John to figure out exactly what had been wrong with Kayla. Had been being the operative word. It had been ten days since Kayla’s breakdown in her bedroom. John had asked her the following day about it, but Kayla refused to talk. He’d asked twice more, but Kayla had finally told him that she just didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

 

Ever since, John felt like he’d been tiptoeing to avoid causing Kayla’s depression to come back. She laughed, smiled, talked, did the chores that John and Bobby assigned, and even did some that she hadn’t been asked to do. John and Bobby, convinced that Kayla’s drastic behavior change was due to something supernatural, had secretly been researching to find a cause and a cure. But Bobby’s assessment from the night before, while frustration for John, seemed the likeliest explanation.

 

“Maybe it’s just early teenage rebellion and hormones, John. Or was, anyway.”

 

“But you didn’t hear her, Bobby. Crying like she was dying.”

 

Bobby had just shrugged. “Hormones?”

 

But that had to be put aside for now too, because there was another problem. Bobby had left on a hunt early that morning before Kayla woke up. John, impressed with Kayla’s work on her chores the last few days, had decided to give her the day off to explore the neighborhood. But before Kayla had even made it six feet down the street, she’d tripped. Instinctively, she put her palms out to break her fall. Right onto a broken beer bottle that had scraped and sliced the palm of both hands.

 

Kayla had always been tough when it came to pain. John recalled her accidentally walking into a pole while not watching where she was going walking down the street while visiting him and Bobby at the age of four. She’d run smack into the pole, her nose slamming right into the middle of it, and John had been certain she would start wailing at any second. Instead, all Kayla had done was back away from the pole, rub her nose slightly with the palm of her hand, then tweak  her nose like a bunny. She’d looked at John and said matter-of-factly,

 

“Gampa, that hurted. Can I has a popsicle?”  

 

She appeared to have virtually the same attitude now sitting in the exam room. John was impressed; her injury was making _him_ squirm. There were a few small, fine cuts over the hand, but there were also two large cuts, one on each palm, that John was certain were going to require stitches. Kayla hadn’t been able to move her hands at all, since the slightest movement to close them was, at best, uncomfortable. The doctor came in and briefly examined her hands, then delivered the bad news.

 

“Okay, so here goes. You need stitches on these two deep cuts. But I’m going to have to give you two things. I’m going to give you a tetanus shot. I checked your medical records and you haven’t had one since you were a baby.”

 

The doctor was looking down at Kayla’s chart, and John was standing behind her, so neither of them saw the complete look of panic in Kayla’s eyes when the doctor said ‘shot’.

 

“And I’m gonna give you a local anesthetic. I’m gonna give it to you straight in both hands. It’ll pinch for a minute, but it’s the fastest and most least painful way to stitch you up. Sound good?”

 

“That’s fine.” John agreed.

 

He felt a little silly at allowing Kayla to get stitches in the emergency room when he could easily do it himself. But she did need the tetanus shot, and there was no way to plausibly allow the doctor to give her the tetanus shot but not the stitches. He then realized that Kayla was shaking her head.

 

“Kayla?”

 

“No. No shots, grandpa.”

 

“Honey, you need them…” John said, but Kayla’s head shook all the more violently.

 

“No. No, no, no….”

 

John started to order Kayla to calm down, but the doctor had put down Kayla’s chart and was looking at her more closely. “Kayla, are you afraid of needles?”

 

“No shots. No shots.” Kayla kept repeating. “No.”

 

“Kayla….” John said, trying to stay patient. She was thirteen, far too old to have this kind of reaction to simple shots.

 

“Kayla, listen.” The doctor said, interrupting John. “Take my hand. Tell me, why are you so afraid?”

 

“Can’t have shots.” Kayla said, breath starting to hitch in panic.

 

“Why not?” The doctor asked. “What are you afraid of?”

“Daddy’s not here. Can’t have shots.”   


“Where is your daddy, sweetie?” The doctor asked. He had assumed that John was her father.

 

“They live just outside of Washington, D.C.” John said. “She’s having to stay with me here for a while.”

 

“Kayla, listen. You need these shots. If you can talk to your daddy while I’m giving them to you, will that work?”

 

Kayla nodded. “I want my daddy. Can’t have shots without him.”

 

“Kayla, that’s enough. Your dad’s at work right now.”

 

“Mr. Winchester, you need to get her father on the phone right now. Or give me the number and I’ll get him on a hospital phone. But if she doesn’t talk to her father, she’ll have a panic attack, and I’ll have to sedate her.”

 

John sighed. Sam didn’t answer numbers he didn’t recognize, so if the hospital called him, he would likely never pick up. John pulled his cellphone out and dialed, praying Sam would pick up.

 

“Hey, dad.”

 

“Hey, Sam. Listen, I need your help with something.” John said.

 

“What’s wrong? Is Kayla okay?”

 

“She fell this morning and cut her hands pretty good. We’re at the emergency room right now, and the doctor wants to give her a tetanus shot and a local anesthetic in each hand.”

 

Sam’s stomach dropped. He knew right away why John had called. As tough as Kayla was when it came to pain, she had a severe phobia of needles. It had started at age five, when Kayla had been sent to the hospital for some routine blood tests when her pediatrician suspected that her iron was low. But Kayla was small for her age, and it was difficult to find a vein, so only after six separate sticks with the needle had they been able to draw the blood needed for the test. To make matters worse, Kayla had been given a flu shot at the pediatrician’s office earlier that day, and had suffered severe side effects to that-fever, headache, nausea, and chills. Ever since, Kayla had refused to get a shot unless Sam was right there with her.

 

“Hang up, Dad. I’ll call right back.”

 

“Sam…”

 

“Dad, Kayla needs to see me. Hang up and I’ll video call right back. Take Kayla and sit her in your lap if you can, and hold the phone in front of her face. Give me a minute.”

John followed Sam’s instruction, and when Sam called back, Kayla was sitting in his lap on a chair in the exam room. It was an awkward fit, but seemed to calm Kayla down. John held the phone for her, and leaned back against John’s chest when Sam’s face filled the screen.

 

Sam felt his heart flutter when he saw Kayla. Kayla hadn’t talked to him at all since she’d left. It had been the longest week and a half of Sam’s life, but he had to put that aside right now.

 

“Hey, sweetpea. You okay?”

 

Kayla shook her head. “No. I’m scared, Daddy.”

 

“I know. I know, I’m right here, okay? Just look at my face and don’t look away.” When Kayla whimpered, Sam assumed she was being given the first shot. “It’s okay, baby. You’ve got this. Daddy’s right here.”

 

 _No you’re not right there,_ a voice in Sam’s head said, causing him painful guilt.

 

Kayla whimpered again. The second shot.

 

“Don’t look away, sweetie. Just keep your eyes on me, okay?” Kayla whimpered one more time, and she finally shed her first tear. “That’s it, baby. You did it. The worst part’s over.”

 

“Thank you, Daddy.” Kayla said.

 

“You don’t have to thank me, sweetie.” Sam said. “So what happened?”

 

“I went for a walk this morning and fell over on some broken glass.”

 

“Ouch.” Sam said with a sympathetic grimace. There was a somewhat awkward silence, before Sam filled it. “You want me to stay on the phone while you get your stitches?”

 

Kayla wanted it, yes, but her fear of the needle was starting to dissipate. She was partially surprised that Sam had agreed to help her through this. _He only did it because he felt like he had to._

 

“No, that’s okay. Go back to work, Daddy.”

 

“You sure, honey?” Sam asked, disappointed.

 

“Yeah. It’s okay. Bye, Daddy.”

 

When Sam hung up the phone, he didn’t know how to feel. Kayla had called him when she was afraid, and though he hated that she was scared, it felt amazing. He felt like her father again for the first time in months. But something had stopped her from accepting more help from him than she’d specifically asked for. Arriving home that night, he told Jess about the conversation, who didn’t know what to make of it either. But one thing was clear.

“We need to start planning to go see her.”

 

“I know.” Sam said. “I have some vacation time. I’ll ask for it tomorrow, and we’ll go see her for a few days.”

 

“Sam. This was _good_. She reached out to you. That’s progress.”

 

“I know. I just hope it keeps going.”   
  
Jess decided to tell Sam about the pact she’d made with Kayla to look out at the moon every night, hoping it would make him feel better. “I know it’s probably corny, but why don’t you try it?”

 

Sam smiled. “Sure.”

 

Later that night, though they couldn’t see each other, Sam, Jess, and Kayla were all sitting at their bedroom windows, looking out at the moon. For a few seconds, a strange peace fell over the three of them as they said simultaneously,

 

“I love you.”


	5. Chapter 5

A month more passed. Sam and Jess had thought about going to see Kayla after she’d injured her hand, but they decided to hold off a few weeks for Kayla’s fourteenth birthday. John, Bobby, Sam, and Jess decided to keep it a surprise. Kayla started school and loved it. She joined the drama department, and practiced for the play they were putting on with a fervor that John had never seen. She made a couple of friends, but was afraid to get close to them. John encouraged her to invite her friends over, but the only response he got was,

 

“I’ll think about it.”

 

The ice around Sam and Kayla’s relationship started to thaw a little. She didn’t talk to him every night like she did Jess, but she called when she was nervous on her first day of school, when she had to get her stitches out, and once to ask him for help with some homework. John found out later that night that she actually didn’t need help with the homework, she had only called to have an excuse to talk to him.

 

 _Just like your father_ , John thought with a smile.

 

The weekend before Kayla’s birthday would be the premiere of her first play. Her part was a small one, but she was proud of it. She still had no idea that her parents were coming the following weekend. She had been working up her courage to do this, and finally, on Wednesday night, as her uncle Dean would say, she ‘bit the bullet’.

 

“Hi, Daddy.”

 

“Hey, sweetie. What’s going on?” Sam asked. “You sound like you’re in a good mood.”

 

“I am. I, um, I called to ask you and mommy something. Can you put me on speaker?”

 

“Sure.”

 

Kayla heard a button click and another voice joined them.

 

“Hi, sweetie!”

 

“Hi, mommy.” Kayla said. With the tension that had relaxed between the three of them over the last few weeks, Kayla’s usual ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ had changed back to ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy’.

 

“So what’s going on? You said you wanted to ask us something?”

 

“Yeah. So, I told you guys I joined the drama department, right?” Kayla asked.

 

“You did. How’s that going?” Jess asked.

 

“I like it a lot.” Kayla said. She didn’t see the way her mother smiled at an answer that wasn’t ‘fine’ or ‘okay’, and Jess didn’t see how nervous Kayla really was at that moment. “Our first play is this weekend.”

Sam and Jess’s smile immediately dropped.

 

“It’s okay if you can’t. It really is. But I’d really like if you and Daddy would be there.” There was dead silence on the line, and Kayla was beginning to get nervous after no one said a word after almost half a minute. “Are you guys still there?”

 

“Mommy and I need to talk about it. We’ll call you back before you go to bed, okay?”

 

For once, the negative voice that constantly plagued Kayla shut up. _They didn’t say no._ “Okay, Daddy.”

 

Kayla waited impatiently. Finally, just before going to bed two hours later, Kayla answered the phone with shaking hands.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Hey, baby. It’s Daddy.”

 

“Hi.” Kayla said hopefully. “Did you guys talk about it?”

 

“Yeah.” Sam said, bracing himself. “Honey, I’m sorry. Mommy and I aren’t gonna be able to come this weekend.”

 

“Oh.” Kayla said, her enthusiasm deflating.

 

“We’re sorry, honey.” Jess said. “We just can’t get away yet. But I promise me and Daddy are coming soon.”

 

“Yeah. We’ll be there, honey, we promise.” Sam said. “In the meantime, Grandpa will tape your play and we’ll watch it when we see you. Okay?”

 

Fighting the lump in her throat, that hadn’t been there since the first couple of days she’d spent settling into her new surroundings, Kayla swallowed. “Okay.”

 

“I promise, baby, we will come see you soon. We just can’t do it this weekend.” Sam repeated.

 

“It’s okay, Daddy.” Kayla said. “It really is.”

 

“You sure?”

 

 _Would it make a difference if it wasn’t?_ Kayla thought. “It’s fine.”

 

“I mean it. We are coming soon.” Jess repeated. “Just hang on, okay?”

 

“Sure, mom.”

 

“Kay…”

 

“It’s my bedtime. I gotta go.” Kayla said. “Goodnight, mom. Goodnight, dad.”

 

Kayla hung up and threw the phone and threw it down on the bed. The dark cloud was slowly creeping back. _You should have known better than to think they’d be interested in your stupid play._ This time, she didn’t even try to push it away. She checked the clock and saw it was nine o’clock. She looked out at the moon and quickly told her parents she loved them, though there wasn’t nearly as much gusto behind it as there had been the nights before.

 

“You should be getting ready for bed.”

 

Kayla looked up and saw John standing in the doorway to her room. “Yes, sir. I’m going now.”

 

“You okay?”

 

“I called mommy and daddy and asked them to come to my play.” Kayla said.

 

“I see. What did they say?”

 

“That they couldn’t be here.” Kayla said.

 

“I’m sorry, kiddo. I know you’re disappointed.”

 

Kayla nodded, fighting the tears brimming at her eyes.

 

“Bobby and I will be there. We’ll film it. They _will_ see it.” John said.

 

“I’m not going.”

 

“What do you mean you’re not going?” John asked.

 

Kayla sniffed. “It’s not worth it anymore.”

 

“You’ve worked so hard on this. Don’t throw it away.”

 

“I won’t be able to do it without looking out and hoping they’ll be there.” Kayla said. “I’ll be too distracted.”

 

“You know,” John said, walking inside and grabbing the phone from Kayla’s bed before taking a seat, “when your dad was your age, he felt like this a lot.”

 

“He did?”

 

“Yeah. I wasn’t there for him nearly as much as I should have been. It was mostly your uncle Dean that went to school plays and things like that for your dad.” John said.

“I didn’t know that.”

 

“That’s because when you were born, your dad told me that I had to treat you differently or I wouldn’t be allowed to see you.”

 

“Daddy said that?” Kayla asked.

 

“He did.” John said. “And I’m glad he did.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because it gave me another chance.” John said. “See, your dad thought that just because I wasn’t there, I wasn’t interested. I tried to convince him it wasn’t true, but he never really believed me.”

 

“That’s how I feel now.”

 

“But think about something. If you were home right now, would your dad go to your play?” John asked.

 

“Yeah. He’d help me get ready for it too.”

 

“There you go.” John said. “You know, that’s one of the biggest things I ever learned, and your dad taught it to me. That our actions show a lot more than our words. So I know you’re disappointed, but I promise the only reason they’re not coming is because they just can’t make it this weekend.”

 

“But that’s why I wanted them to come so bad!” Kayla said, frustrated. “I wanted to show them I was trying. Trying to do better. I thought that maybe…”

 

“Maybe what?” John asked when she went quiet.

 

“Maybe if I was doing better, they’d let me come home.”

 

John sighed, and the urge to ruin Sam and Jess’s surprise was strong. “I don’t know what your parents are thinking about you coming home. You can ask them when you talk to them if you want.”

 

“Maybe.”

 

 _Screw it,_ John decided. “You know, your birthday’s next week. Maybe they can’t come this weekend because they’re planning to come for that.”

 

“If they won’t come for this stupid play, they’re definitely not coming for my birthday.”

 

“Kayla, listen to me. I don’t know where you’re getting this idea that you don’t mean the world to all of us. But it isn’t true. Not by a mile.” When Kayla didn’t respond, John asked, “Why do you feel that way? I’m not upset, I just don’t understand.”

 

“I don’t know. I just feel that way sometimes.”

 

“Sometimes? Or all the time?” John asked.

 

 _Every second of every day and night_ , Kayla thought. “Sometimes.”

 

“When you start feeling that way, _tell someone._ We can’t help you if we don’t know something’s going on. Promise me you’ll do that.”

 

“Promise.” Kayla said.

 

“And think about this. Bobby and I don’t waste time with anything we don’t think is important. And we’re going to your play. We’re pretty excited about it.”

 

Kayla finally smiled. “Really?”

 

“Really. And your mom and dad will see it, I promise. But you don’t want to let me and Bobby down, do you?”

 

“No. I don’t.” Kayla said. “Thanks, grandpa.”

 

“You’re welcome, kiddo.” John said. “Go on, wash up and get ready for bed.”

 

“Yes, sir.” Kayla said. She stood up from the bed and handed John the phone from her bed. Before he could get up himself, Kayla had grabbed his neck and hugged him. “Grandpa? I don’t know exactly what happened with you and Daddy, but you did good with that second chance. You’re the best grandpa in the whole world.”

 

Choking back tears, John simply patted Kayla’s back. “Go on, kiddo. Get ready for bed.”

 

Not knowing that Kayla felt better now, both Sam and Jess went to bed feeling guilty. Jess knew it would inflame Sam’s guilt, but she couldn’t help it.

 

“Are you sure…?”

 

“Jess, we can’t do both.” Sam said, cutting her off. “We can’t go to the play _and_ do her birthday.”

 

“I know. I just…it’s the first time she’s actually _asked_ for us. I feel like it’s reinforcing her feeling like we don’t care about her if we don’t go.”

 

“I get it. I really do. I can’t count the number of times I wanted my dad there for something and he wasn’t there. But I’d rather her be a little disappointed because we missed a play than be upset because we missed her birthday.”

 

“That makes sense.” Jess said.

 

“Besides, now that I’m older, I don’t think about all the times my dad missed. I think about the times he _was_ there, and they’re a lot more special to me. She might be upset now, but hopefully when she grows up, she’ll think about her birthday before she thinks about the missed play.”

 

“I hope so.” Jess said. She smiled and said, “It feels good she asked, though.”

 

“Yeah. It does.” Sam said. “Goodnight, babe.”

 

“Night.”

 

Kayla’s play was a hit. Sam had convinced Dean to go, hoping to bridge some of the hurt Kayla may have been feeling about him and Jess not going. John and Bobby made sure to heap praises on her, and John even allowed her to stay up for an extra hour without Kayla asking. When John went up to take a shower and Dean went out on a date with a teacher he’d met at Kayla’s school, Kayla asked Bobby a question she’d been wondering about since she’d arrived.

 

“Uncle Bobby? Why haven’t you said anything about what I did?”

 

“What you did? What’d you do?” Bobby asked.

 

“All the stuff that happened that made mommy and daddy send me here.” Kayla explained. “Grandpa talked to me about it, and mommy and daddy both punished me for it. Uncle Dean even talked to me about it. Why haven’t you said anything about it?”

 

Bobby sighed. “Tell me something. Do you feel bad about everything that happened before you got here?”

 

“Yeah. I do.”

 

“That’s why. Let me tell you something. Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody does stuff in their lives that hurts other people. People they love. I haven’t said anything for exactly the reason you said. Your parents got on you for it, your uncle, your grandpa. And you’ve been doing so good since you got here. I can tell you’re trying to change it, and I’m crazy proud of you for that. But I ain’t gonna judge you for it. You’re making good on it, so as far as I’m concerned, we’re square.”

 

Kayla was speechless. She’d been hoping for forgiveness, but Bobby was offering something more. Understanding. She had the same thought she’d had with John. Maybe she should tell Bobby the secret that she’d buried, that had caused all the misery she’d been through in the last few months. Her thoughts were interrupted by her grandpa coming back in the room.

“Alright, birthday girl. It’s almost time for bed.”

 

“’Kay. Goodnight, grandpa. Goodnight, uncle Bobby.”

 

Kayla felt guilty when she realized she’d missed her nightly appointment at her bedroom window with her mom, so she decided to ask Jess the next day to wait by the window for a full minute to make up for it. She fell asleep wondering what the next day was going to be like. She’d never had a birthday without her parents before. Neither of them had mentioned it, and Kayla halfway wondered if they’d even remembered. When she woke the next day, there was an unsigned note on her bed.

 

_There’s something in the kitchen for you. DON’T go in there. Sit on the couch, close your eyes, and don’t move._

 

Puzzled, she went downstairs and did what the note said. She heard someone moving around, and recognized her grandpa’s voice when he told her to just keep her eyes closed. She felt something crawl into her lap. It was familiar, but she couldn’t quite tell what it was. Two people, she assumed her grandfather and Bobby, sat down on either side of her. She felt a pair of small hands cover her eyes, before she heard her grandfather say,

 

“Open up.”

 

The hands were taken away from her eyes. “Surpwise!”

 

“Mary?” Kayla said breathlessly. On the left of her was her father, on the right her mother. “Mommy? Daddy?”

 

“Don’t cry, sissy. We here now.”

 

Kayla couldn’t speak, the tears clogging her throat, so she grabbed Mary and held her so tight she’d later be surprised she hadn’t suffocated her little sister. Sam and Jess held her the same way, and for at least a few seconds, Kayla’s dark cloud was gone.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

The weekend had been a blast. The family had thrown Kayla a small party, despite her insistence that she didn’t need one. Kayla hadn’t been happy, but hadn’t protested either, when John told her that she still had to go to school, even though Sam and Jess would be there for the entire week. Unable to sleep Sunday night, Kayla had made a decision. She decided to tell her parents all the little secrets that she’d kept from them. Maybe, she decided, if she told them all the little secrets, she wouldn’t have to tell them about the big one that was still festering deep down. With a shaking hand, she reread the letter before turning in.

 

_Dear Mommy and Daddy,_

_I’m really glad you guys came to see me. I know you said you would anyway, but seeing you two and Mary on the couch with me was the happiest I’ve been in a really long time. I know I don’t say it lately, but I love the both of you._  
  


_I need to tell you some things, but I decided to do it this way because whenever I try to say it out loud, I can’t. First, Mommy, I got your letter and I read it. I’ve been sitting at my window most nights, and I hope you have too. You were right, it is corny, but it does work. Daddy, I was really mean to you in the airport before I got on my flight to come here. I’m sorry. I was mad, and I was hurt, but I know now that you were too. You were right when you said that the party wasn’t my first time drinking. I drank a few times at school too. But that’s not the worst of it. I’ve also smoked. Cigarettes and, I really hope you don’t hate me for this, pot. I’ve skipped school quite a few times over two semesters too. I got really good at forging both your signatures, and when the teachers would send notes home, I’d sign them and bring them back the next day._

_I won’t blame you if you don’t believe me, but that’s all of it. Everything you didn’t know. If you want to punish me when I get home from school today, I promise I’ll take it, whatever it is. I just wanted to come clean._

_I also had a couple other things to tell you. I’m more worried about saying this than telling you about all the other stuff. But, in the spirit of being completely honest, I feel like you need to know. I do get why you sent me here. I really do. But I don’t like **how** you did it. I pushed you both away after you punished me for going to that party because I didn’t think I deserved to be comforted. Grandpa told me last week that actions speak louder than words, and you both told me I was right when you didn’t even try to talk to me after that. Mommy, you at least kept trying to give me hugs, but you stopped asking about how summer school was going. Daddy, I did everything I could to do exactly what you told me, but you wouldn’t even look at me. When you did, it was just to say ‘go back to your room’ and then, finally, spank me again. I know I shouldn’t have snapped at you, but what you didn’t know was that I was so scared to come out for anything that I’d peed my pants. I was embarrassed. I’d gone to the bathroom to change and clean up. _

_I didn’t tell you both that to make you feel bad. But I thought that, maybe, if we wanted to get better, it would help to open up about everything._

_I want to ask for a couple of favors. I know I don’t deserve them, and I won’t be mad if you say no, but please just think about it. First, please don’t tell grandpa about any of the stuff I told you in this letter. He told me when I got here that if he caught me doing anything dangerous or illegal he’d spank me even worse than you did when I went to that party. I’ve been doing really well with him, and I don’t want to mess that up, so if we can, I’d like to keep this between us. Second, can you please give me some kind of timeline or list of things to do before you’ll think about me being able to come home? I have friends here, but I’m scared to get close to them because I don’t know if I’m going home any time soon. I’m trying. I really am. But I feel lost. I don’t know if there’s something else I could be doing or not doing to help my chances. I do want to come home, but I want to know that when I get there, I’ve earned the right to come back._

_That’s it. I’ll see you guys after school._

_  
Love you,_

_Kayla_

The next morning, Kayla got dressed for school early and cautiously walked down the hall to the room where Mary and her parents were sleeping. She had thought about leaving them alone and letting them sleep, but the fact that they were there seemed too good to be true. She was afraid that she’d come home from school to find that it had been a dream. But when she got to the door, she heard Mary’s distinct giggling through the door, and Kayla smiled as she opened the door. Mary was sitting between Sam and Jess on the bed.

 

“Sissy!”

 

Kayla almost cried again, but her bottom lip to stop it. “Can I join you guys?”

 

“You don’t have to go to school?” Sam asked.

 

“I usually walk, but grandpa said he’d drive me. He said I’ve got twenty minutes.”

 

“Okay.” Sam said with a smile. He picked up Mary and put her in his lap, then patted the space between him and Jess. “Come on up.”

 

Kayla climbed into the bed, and felt like a kid again for the first time in forever. Mary moved from Sam’s lap to Kayla’s, and they talked about school, friends, and what else Kayla had been doing since she arrived. All too soon, John came to the bedroom door.   


“Say bye to your mom and dad, sweetie. Time for school.”

 

“Yes, sir.” Kayla said sadly.

 

She wanted to fight, beg to stay there, but she’d worked too hard to gain everyone’s trust. She hugged everyone, including a crying Mary, who was convinced that Kayla was leaving and she’d never see her again. After convincing her sister that she’d be back that night, Kayla dug the letter for her parents out of her pocket.

 

“I wrote this for you guys last night. Will you read it while I’m at school?”

 

Of course they’d agreed, setting Kayla off on one of the longest school days she’d ever had. She didn’t learn anything because she was too distracted. In her last class of the day, her favorite teacher, Mrs. Rinder, asked her to stay for a moment after she dismissed everyone. When the class was empty, Mrs. Rinder approached Kayla.

 

“You’re not in trouble, sweetie. But you seem like something’s wrong. Are you okay?”

 

Kayla sighed. Mrs. Rinder was the only one who knew the story behind how Kayla had ended up in Sioux Falls. “My parents are here to visit.”

 

“I see. Isn’t that a good thing? I thought you wanted to see them.”

 

“I do. But before I left for school this morning I gave them a letter and I told them about some things I did. Bad things that they don’t know about.”

 

“Mmm. And you’re worried? About how they’ll react?”

 

“Yeah.” Kayla said. “They already sent me away from ‘em for the stuff they knew about, so what are they gonna do with the stuff they didn’t?”

 

“So why did you tell them?”

 

“Because I got tired of carrying it around. Worrying how they’d react.” Kayla said.

 

“And you know what that means? It means you’re growing up. You’re taking responsibility for your actions. That should make your parents very proud of you.”

 

“I haven’t given them any reason to be proud of me.” Kayla said bitterly.

 

“I disagree. And no matter what happens with your parents tonight, _I_ am proud of you.” Mrs. Rinder said.

 

Kayla smiled. “Thanks.”

 

“How long are they gonna be here?”

 

“I don’t know. Why?” Kayla asked.

 

“Parents night is Friday. I’d love to meet them.”

 

“I’ll ask.” Kayla said. “I gotta go. Thanks, Mrs. Rinder.”

 

Kayla left, her heart slamming in her chest. Almost time to face the music. It was a thirty minute walk home, and for the first time, she wasn’t looking forward to it. But as she stepped out of the doors of the school, Kayla got quite the surprise.

 

“Daddy!”

 

“Hey.” Sam said as Kayla ran to him and hugged his waist. “How was school?”

 

“Good.” Kayla said. “What are you doing here?”

 

“I came to surprise you. I can’t remember the last time I picked you up from school.”

 

“I’m glad you did.” Kayla said sincerely.

 

“Come on. Mommy’s waiting for us. You, me, and her need to have a talk.”

 

“You read my letter, didn’t you?”

 

“Come on.” Sam said again. “Let’s go.”

 

“Where’s Mary?”

 

“Your grandpa and uncle Bobby are taking her to the park for a couple hours.” Sam explained.

 

Twenty minutes later, Sam, Jess, and Kayla were in the living room. Kayla nervously bit her lip and played with her hands, waiting on the condemnation she was certain was coming from both her parents. Sam held Kayla’s letter in his hands.

 

“Before your mom and I say anything, is there anything else you need to tell us?”

 

“No. That’s everything.” Kayla said.

 

“Okay.” Sam said, taking a breath before he continued. “Your mom and I have been talking all day. You, um, you certainly surprised us.”

 

“Are you mad?”

 

“More like disappointed. And hurt. _Pot_ , Kayla? And drinking? Really? You could’ve died!” Sam said, his voice rising more sharply than he intended.

 

“Sam.” Jess said when Kayla flinched. She took Kayla’s hand in hers.

 

“No, Jess. This needs to be said.”

 

“It’s okay, mom.” Kayla said. “That’s why I gave you guys the letter. I want to talk about all this.”

Sam immediately felt any sense of anger leave him. He closed his eyes and reminded himself that they had talked, all day, about how to handle this new information. Yelling at Kayla and trying to make her feel guilty would only push her away. It hadn’t worked before, so there was no reason to think that it would now. Sam opened his eyes and continued with his and Jess’s plan.

 

“Sweetheart, you did good telling us everything. You really did. But do you understand why we can’t exactly take your word for it that that’s everything?”

 

“Yes, sir.” Kayla said. It hurt, but she did understand.

 

“So, as far as your punishment for everything goes, this is it. Me and mommy will start coming unannounced. We’ll keep what you told us between the three of us, but when one of us shows up, we’re taking you to get a random drug test. Your first one is today.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Kayla Ellen, I need you to hear me on this. Mommy and I both love you, more than you know. But if you fail one of these drug tests, or refuse to take it, you will not be allowed to come back home. Period. We will get you help if you need it, and we will never just completely cut you out, but your stay at grandpa’s and Bobby’s becomes permanent from that point forward. We will also tell grandpa everything and let him deal with it however he chooses. Do you hear me?”

 

“Yes, sir.” Kayla said quietly.

 

“There’s one more thing. This is up to you. You don’t have to do it if you really don’t want to. But mommy and I want you to think about going to see a doctor.”

 

“What kind of doctor?”

 

“A therapist.” Sam said.

 

Alarm bells immediately started ringing in Kayla’s head. _A therapist will figure out your secret right away._ Kayla swallowed her panic and said, in as even a voice as she could, “No. I don’t want to talk to a stranger.”

 

“That’s okay. I get that. I really do. But just think about it. Okay?”

 

“Okay.” Kayla said. “I’ll think about it.”

 

“As far as you coming home. I’ll be honest. I hadn’t really thought about what I should give you to do to get home. So mommy and I talked about that too. You should plan to stay here until at least your next birthday.”

 

“Another _year_?” a devastated Kayla asked, eyes filling with tears.  


“Yes.” Sam said, hardening his heart when all he wanted to do was scoop Kayla up and vow to bring her back home. “Baby, you said it yourself. You’re doing really good here with grandpa. You’re happier than we’ve seen you in a long time.”

 

“Yeah, but…” Kayla stopped when she realized she was almost whining. She turned pleading eyes to her mother. “Mommy…”

 

“But what?”

 

“They’re not my parents.”

 

“Hey.” Jess grabbed Kayla and pulled her close. She kissed the top of her head, then started to stroke her hair, exactly like she’d done when Kayla was little. “I know when you’re thirteen, a year feels like forever. But it’ll go by so fast. Trust me, it feels like yesterday Daddy was trying to put you in your carseat for the first time to bring you home from the hospital.”

 

“Kayla, I’m sorry, baby. I know it’s hard. But believe me, this is for your own good right now.” Sam said. “As long as you follow the rules, I promise, your next birthday, mommy and I will bring you back home.”

 

“No you won’t. I can’t do it. I can’t not break a single rule for a whole year. What happens if I come home late? Or I get in an argument with grandpa? I can’t do it.”

 

“Sweetie, we do not expect you to be perfect.” Jess said. “We’re not talking about simple stuff here. We’re talking about the big rules. No smoking, no drinking, no sneaking out. You follow those, you pass all your drug tests, and that’ll show me and daddy that we can trust you enough to bring you home. Okay? Does that make sense?”

 

Kayla did feel better. She could follow those three simple rules. “Yes, ma’am.”

 

“Okay. One more thing. Daddy and I owe you an apology. A couple of them, actually.”

 

Kayla sat up and wiped her teary face. “What do you mean?”

 

“You were right. It’s not fair that Daddy and I sent you away after we didn’t talk to you for a week either. This isn’t an excuse, but both of us were just lost. We didn’t know how to help you, so we just stopped trying. I don’t ever want you to think that you can’t talk to me, even if you’re in big trouble. I’m sorry, baby.”

 

“I am too.” Sam said. “I never meant to make you so scared of me. And like mommy said, it’s not an excuse, but I was scared too. You didn’t seem to want me anymore, and that scared me worse than anything. I’ll never forgive myself for you being too scared to even go to the bathroom. I’m sorry, sweetie. I’m just so sorry.”

 

“I am too.” Kayla said. “I’m trying, you guys, I really am.”

 

“We know that. We do. Grandpa tells us he’s very proud of you. Just like I am.” Sam said.

 

“You’re proud of me?” Kayla said.

 

“Both of us are.” Jess said. When Kayla’s eyes swam with tears again, Jess wiped them away. “What’s wrong?”

 

“I was scared I’d never hear you say that again.”

 

“Oh, honey.” Jess said.

  
Kayla cried a little more, but the relief was powerful. She had a plan. She could get home. Kayla wrapped her arms around her mother’s waist and held her father’s hand, savoring the feeling of being cuddled between them. After Kayla had calmed down again, and the three of them were sitting in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, Kayla remembered something. “How long are you guys staying?”

 

“We have to go home Friday night.” Sam said. “Our flight leaves at eight.”

 

“Oh.” Kayla said, disappointed.

 

“Hey. What’s up?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

“It’s obviously important to you, so it is not nothing. What’s wrong?” Sam insisted.

 

“There’s a parent’s night at my school Friday night. I was hoping you guys would be here long enough to go.” Kayla said. “But it’s okay.”

 

Sam and Jess locked eyes. Jess was pleading, and Sam knew what they had to do. Having missed Kayla’s play, they didn’t want to blow another chance to be there for her.

 

“I think we can stay one more day.”

 

“Really? You mean it?” Kayla asked. “What about your flight?”

 

“We’ll figure it out. We’ll be at parent’s night.”

 

Sam was nearly knocked down off the couch when Kayla unwrapped herself from her mother and launched at him.

 

“You’re the best daddy in the whole world.” she said. “I love you.”

 

Sam was the one crying now. It had been months since Kayla had told either of them that. “I love you too.”

“Mommy! Daddy! Sissy! We home!”

 

Mary had come in and bounced to the living room, a gigantic pink and blue cotton candy in her hand.

 

Sam laughed. “Really, Dad?”

 

“How do you know it was me?” John asked.

 

“Hey, Mary. Bring some of that this way.” Kayla said.

 

“Is everything okay?” John asked as he took off his jacket and Bobby helped Mary with hers.

 

Kayla looked to both her parents and answered, “It will be.”

 

**Next chapter: Sam accidentally uncovers Kayla’s big secret.**


	7. Chapter 7

As the plane made its way towards South Dakota, Sam fought to stop the contents of his stomach from coming out.

He'd never felt like a truly clueless person before, but this had truly seemed to come out of nowhere. Thanksgiving was coming, Kayla's favorite holiday. She had called him earlier that week, Monday morning before he'd gone to work, and begged him to come. Sam felt terrible about it, but he'd invited two potential clients over for dinner Thanksgiving night. Their business would have meant an almost doubling of Sam's income practically immediately. Kayla had called back twice more that week, Tuesday night and Wednesday night, wondering whether or not he and Jess could come on different days. The fourth day Kayla had called, yesterday, Sam had been at work. He'd just gotten back from court, where he'd lost a major case. Kayla had started off,

"Hi, Daddy. I was just wondering…"

Sam had regretted what came out of his mouth the second it was out. "Kayla, enough! I don't know when we're coming, and if you ask again, we aren't. If you call back again, Thanksgiving is off. It's not all about you, you know."

Kayla had sputtered. "Oh. Um, sorry, Daddy."

"Kayla, honey, I'm sorry…"

"I gotta go." Kayla had said, and Sam was certain he'd heard her voice rise like she was holding back tears.

"Kayla…"

She'd hung up the phone, and suddenly Sam's lost case didn't matter anymore. Before he could call back and apologize, though, John had called. For the first time in a long time, he'd ripped into Sam.

"Kayla's been working not one, but two different after school jobs. She's been saving money and buying groceries with it. She's been practicing in the kitchen every night for nearly a month now trying to make sure she knows exactly how to make everyone's favorite dish. Spaghetti and meatballs for Mary. Grilled salmon for you. Pie for Dean. Homemade red velvet cupcakes for Jess. She was going to make everyone's favorite foods for Thanksgiving."

"Dad…"

"I am not anywhere close to done, Sam." John had snapped. "I told her I'd get the groceries for her and help her cook, but she said she had to do it herself. It didn't mean the same if I did it for her. When I asked her why she didn't get any pork chops for herself for Thanksgiving, she said she wanted to make everyone else happy first. That child hasn't thought about herself in weeks. And now she's up in her room crying because she thinks this means nothing."

"Will you tell her…?"

"I won't tell her a damn thing. I really resent having to ruin her surprise, when I kept you and Jess and Mary coming to see her for her birthday a secret, even though she was miserable about it all week. She was disappointed when you said you couldn't come Thanksgiving Day, Sam, but she took it like a champ. She was just trying to see when she would be able to do it. So if you can't come next Thursday that's fine. But I better see all of you at some point before the end of the month, and you better have the good sense to look surprised when you get here. Is that understood?" John had said, his voice rising steadily as he spoke.

"Yes, sir." Sam replied.

"Sam, I really hope you didn't just set her back." John had said, before hanging up the phone.

That  _had_ been the plan. Sam had apologized to Kayla, and promised they'd be there the Sunday following Thanksgiving. Kayla readily forgave him, and Sam wished he could see the smile she had when he said they'd be there. But that morning, Saturday morning, Sam had still felt bad about calling her selfish. He'd wanted to call and talk to Kayla, maybe tell her again how sorry he was, but it was four in the morning. He decided instead to go to Kayla's room.

He and Jess had kept Kayla's room exactly as she'd left it. Mary had slept in Kayla's bed for the first six weeks she'd been gone, but after they'd gone to visit her and Mary had seen how happy Kayla was, Mary went back to her room. Sam sat on Kayla's bed and looked around. The sight of Kayla's things around the room without Kayla there to enjoy them made Sam miss her all over again. When he started to stand up, he felt something…strange. It was under the sheet, and seemed to be made of wire. Curious, Sam lifted the sheet and found a wire bound notebook labeled 'Kayla Ellen Winchester-Grade 2 journal'.

"The hell?" Sam said to himself.

Sam opened the journal, and at first, he thought it was cute. It was exactly what it looked like-Kayla's second grade journal, with entries along the lines of 'what I like to eat' and 'my favorite subject in school'. Then he discovered something troubling. There were entries that were much older than second grade. There were some from the year before. It seemed Kayla had dug the journal out of Sam and Jess's closet to hide these new entries. Sam normally wouldn't have kept reading. He believed in privacy, no matter how old or young someone was. But his intuition went into overdrive.  _Keep reading_ , a voice said in the back of his mind. A story unfolded that sickened Sam to his core.

There was one person in his life that Sam had always considered a true friend. Sure, there was Bobby, who had been the father he needed when his own hadn't been there for him, and Ellen, the only woman who'd ever been a mother to him. But they were family, not just friends. Art and Sam had bonded when Sam had first moved to D.C. right after Kayla's eleventh birthday. Sam missed his family, and for the first six months they lived there, Sam and Art would get drinks after work, double date with their wives, and, to Sam's now immense regret, Art and his wife would babysit when Sam and Jess needed it.

Things about Kayla's behavior that had before mystified Sam made perfect sense now. Her mood swings. Her falling grades. Her jumpiness at being touched. Her drinking, smoking, and dying drugs. The way she'd withdrawn from everyone, seemingly overnight. And, what really sickened Sam to his core, the way she'd seemed to just get better when she was forced to live several hundred miles away from him.

Sam had been in partial denial that morning. He'd had to be in order to function enough to tell Jess he was going on a quick business trip and would be back the following afternoon. He didn't want to lie to her, but he wanted to get to Kayla first and grovel and beg for her forgiveness. When the truth finally, completely revealed itself in his mind, Sam lost the battle to keep what was in his stomach inside. He jumped out of his seat and ran to the bathroom, the words blaring in his head like a siren.

Kayla had been molested. By Sam's best friend.

From what Sam could gather reading through the journal, it had started a month after Kayla's thirteenth birthday. Sam and Jess had gone to the grocery store for a little while with Mary. They hadn't been gone more than an hour, but Kayla had insisted she was old enough to be left alone for a little while. Eager to give her a chance to prove how independent she could be, Sam had reminded her not to open the door for anyone until they got back.

Apparently, Art had been watching them leave, because the second that Sam and Jess were away, he'd knocked on the door claiming to have some documents for work for Sam to sign. Kayla, trying not to break the rules her parents left for her the first time she was allowed to act like an adult, told him he could leave them in the mailbox next to the front door. When she thought he'd left, she'd opened the front door briefly to get them, and Art had forced his way in.

After that had begun four months of pure hell for Kayla. She did her best to avoid Art, but he would come to the house more and more often. He'd always somehow find a way to get Kayla alone for a few seconds. That was all he needed. Kayla wasn't specific about what exactly he'd done, but afterwards he would tell her basically the same thing.

"You're disgusting. Your parents will never believe you, and if you try to tell them, I'll deny it. Keep your mouth shut or else."

As Sam made his way back to his seat, he remembered something else. It had seemed unimportant in the following months, but when Art announced his transfer to the Boston branch of their law office, San had become angry with Kayla when she couldn't hide her relief.

_Way to go, moron. Your biggest clue to this entire mess and you piss it away and yell at her for it._

The plane landed, Sam rented a car, and he sped towards the house at breakneck speed. He was surprised, but eternally grateful, when he didn't get stopped. It was almost dinnertime when he pulled the car into the driveway and headed inside. He found Kayla on the couch in the living room, reading a book for school. Having grown used to random, unannounced visits from her parents, due to the random drug tests they took her for, Kayla simply smiled and greeted him.

"Hi, Daddy."

Sam took a seat on the couch next to Kayla, fighting to keep the tears from flowing freely like he wanted them to. Kayla noticed straight away how scared her father seemed to be, and as Sam gently took the book out of her hands and laid it on the table next to the couch, she asked,

"What's wrong? Are mommy and Mary okay?"

"Mommy and Mary are fine. I need to ask you something, and I need you to tell me the truth."

"Okay…"

Sam took a deep breath, and it was in that moment that Bobby and John came in from ep kitchen and joined them. Sam braced himself for the answer he'd been dreading all day.

"Baby, did uncle Art hurt you?" As clueless as he'd felt on the plane, Sam didn't miss it this time- the look of pure terror on Kayla's face.

"Sam, what are you talking about?" John asked.

Not taking his eyes off Kayla, Sam continued. "I found the journal under your sheet. Baby, please, tell me. Is it true?"


	8. Chapter 8

Kayla panicked. Her carefully guarded secret was out now. She felt Bobby and John and Sam all looking at her, waiting for her answer to Sam’s question, and her brain went into overdrive. _Daddy can’t know. He’ll leave and you’ll never see him again. Lie._

“Is it true?” Sam repeated.

 

“No.” Kayla said. “No, it’s not true.”

 

“Kayla…”

 

“It’s not true.” Kayla said again, but she started shaking and Sam could tell she was lying. “It’s not true.”

 

“Kayla.”

 

John’s commanding yet surprisingly gentle voice immediately stilled Kayla’s coming panic attack. She expected him to be angry, to start yelling at her, and, what she dreaded most of all, call her every name that she already called herself in her head. But all she saw when John took a seat on the other side of her was a sincere, honest desire to keep her safe. It was a startling difference from the usual stern, no nonsense demeanor he usually carried, and it was enough to break Kayla’s pattern of panic and denial.

 

“Answer your father. Did he hurt you?”

 

Kayla closed her eyes before answering. When she opened them back up, she whispered, “It’s my fault.”

 

“What?”   


“It’s my fault.” Kayla said with a sob.

 

“Kayla, no. No, honey. It is not your fault.” Sam said.

 

“Yes, it is!” Kayla insisted. “You told me not to open that door, and I didn’t listen. It’s my fault.”

 

“Kayla, stop.” John said. He kept his voice even and steady, but just firm enough that Kayla listened to him. “It’s not your fault.”

 

“I’m sorry, Daddy, I’m so sorry.”

 

“Kayla, honey, it’s not your fault.” Sam repeated. “This isn’t on you.”

 

“I tried to fight him. I tried so hard, but he was too strong…”

 

John recognized a flashback when he saw one. Kayla was shaking from head to toe. She had closed her eyes again, and drawn her hands into tight fists. Sam looked lost, guilty, and sick, so John reached out and placed a hand on one of Kayla’s fists. She snapped out of the flashback, and after giving her a few moments to reorient herself, John said it again.

 

“It is not your fault. Say it back to me.”

 

“No, sir.” Kayla refused. “I can’t.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I don’t believe it.” Kayla said.

 

“It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. The longer you hold on to believing that it is, the longer it will take you to heal.”

 

“Grandpa, I can’t help it.” Kayla said.

 

“I know. Believe me, honey, I know. I’ve not been through what you’ve been through, but I understand feeling guilty. Feeling like things are your fault. _He_ hurt _you_. That’s all there is to this. So say it back to me. It’s not your fault.”

 

Kayla swallowed, and the words were thick coming out of her mouth. “It’s not my fault.”

 

“Say it again.”

 

“It’s not my fault.” Kayla said, more clearly this time.

 

“One more.”

 

“It’s not my fault.”   


“Good.” John said. “You’re a good girl, Kayla.”

 

“No, I’m not.” Kayla said.

 

“You are. One day, you’ll see that again. I promise.”

 

Kayla’s eyes widened and she turned to her father again. “Daddy, where’s mommy and Mary?”

 

“They’re at home. I told mommy I was on a business trip and that I’d be back tomorrow.”

 

“You have to go get them. Go get them and bring ‘em here. Please, Daddy. Go.” Kayla begged.

 

“Kayla, what is it?” Sam asked.

 

“I didn’t tell you two because he said if I did he’d hurt one of you. He said…” Despite her big secret already being out, Kayla still found it hard to talk about.

“He said what?”

 

“He said he’d hurt Mary.” Kayla said. “Daddy, please, you’ve got to get them here. You’ve gotta protect them.”

 

 _Like I should have protected you_ , Sam thought to himself. “Okay, baby. Okay, I will. I’ll go back and get them myself…”

 

“NO!” Kayla said, grabbing Sam’s hand. “No, please don’t leave. You just got here.”

 

“Okay, um…” Sam noticed Bobby still standing between the living room and kitchen. “Bobby? Will you call Dean? Tell him to get Jess and Mary and book it for here?”

 

“Yeah.” Bobby said. “Yeah. I will.”

 

“There you go. How’s that?”

 

Kayla nodded. “Thank you.”

 

Sam cautiously placed a hand behind Kayla’s head. “I’m sorry.”

 

Kayla didn’t respond, just buried herself in her father’s side and wept, falling into an exhausted sleep. The months of battling her dark secret were over and she was tired. She dreamt again of her mom and dad, leading her down the sidewalk and making her laugh. Only this time, when the dark cloud appeared, they set her down on the ground behind them and protected her from it. When the cloud was gone, they turned around and picked her back up, swearing that they’d love her forever and would always be there for her.

 

When Kayla woke up the first time, someone had carried her to bed and tucked her in.  She heard the sound of arguing voices down the hall. Her father was saying something about taking Kayla to a doctor, while her grandfather said she needed to sleep first. Kayla closed her eyes and went right back to sleep. When she woke up the second time, she saw Sam sleeping in a chair next to her bed. Unable to get back to sleep, Kayla called out to him.

 

“Daddy.”

 

Sam woke almost instantly. “Hey. What are you doing up?”

 

“Couldn’t sleep.”

 

“I’m not surprised.” Sam said. He checked his watch and commented, “It’s almost six in the morning. You’ve been asleep for thirteen hours.”

 

“Do you remember when I was little and couldn’t sleep? What you’d do to help me?”

 

“I do.” Sam said. “You need that now?”

“Yes, please.”

 

With no hesitation, Sam walked over and sat on the edge of her bed. He turned so that he was sitting against the headboard, and pulled Kayla up so that she was lying against his chest and listening to his heart beat.

 

“How’s that?”

 

“Mmmm.” Kayla cooed in response. “Where’s mommy?”

 

“Uncle Dean’s bringing her. I asked them to drive to give you a little more time.”

 

“Thank you, Daddy.” Kayla said.

 

“You okay enough to talk?”

 

Kayla squirmed. “Talk about what exactly?”

 

“Anything you want.” Sam said.

 

Kayla sighed. “Sure. I have to tell you something else.”

 

“What?”

 

“I lied to you.”

 

Sam’s breath caught in his throat. _Surely she didn’t…?_ “About what?”

 

“Why I didn’t tell you and mommy.” Kayla said. “He did say he’d hurt Mary if I did, but I didn’t really believe him. I just panicked yesterday, and I wanted mommy and Mary here. I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s okay. I understand. There’s a lot worse you could’ve done in panic than ask for your mother.” Sam said, relieved that all she was confessing was wanting her mommy. “If that wasn’t why you didn’t tell us, why didn’t you?”

 

“I didn’t want you to feel like this was your fault. I didn’t want you or mommy carrying this around too.”

 

“Babe, listen to me.” Sam said gently. “I know you were trying to protect us. But that’s not your job.”

 

“I know I should’ve told you. I’m sorry.”   


“No, let me finish. I didn’t say that to make you feel guilty. You’re not in trouble for it. My point is this. That’s what family’s for. To help you carry stuff like this that’s too big to carry on your own. Does that make sense?”

“It does.” Kayla said simply. They sat in silence for another few minutes, before Kayla asked, “Daddy? Do you still want me to come home?”

 

“Of course you’re coming home.” Sam said.

 

“On my birthday, right?”

 

Sam was surprised. He’d thought it was obvious; he intended to take her home whenever he and Jess went back. “Honey, you’re coming back whenever mommy and I go back.”

 

“Why?”

 

“What do you mean why?” Sam asked.

 

“I still did all that bad stuff.” Kayla said.

 

“Yeah, but you did that because you were hurting, right?” Sam asked. Kayla nodded, and Sam said, “Well, we can get you some help now. You do want to come back home, right?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“We can talk more about it after mommy gets here. Okay?” Sam said.

 

“Okay.”

 

“Baby, I’m sorry we sent you away. I was so worried that you were gonna get hurt or killed with everything you were doing. I thought maybe grandpa would do a better job keeping you safe. I was scared we’d lost you if we didn’t do something.” Sam said. “You must have thought we didn’t care about you, and I’m so sorry for that…”

 

“I did at first. But I get it now. It’s okay, Daddy.” Kayla said. “Do you remember asking me about going to a doctor?”

 

“Yeah. I do.”

 

“Do you really think that’ll help?” Kayla asked.

 

“Yes.” Sam said. “I do.”

 

“I promise I’ll think about it.”

 

“You also need to have a checkup.” Sam said. “That’s not an option.”

 

“Yes, sir.” Kayla said.

 

“You won’t be alone. Mommy’ll go with you.”

“You too, right?” Kayla asked.

 

“If you want me to.” Sam said.

 

“Please.” Kayla said. “I don’t like being alone.”

 

“Okay.” Sam heard a grumbling noise and realized that it was coming from Kayla. “You hungry?”

 

“Yes. But I don’t want to get up.”

 

“Me neither. But it’s time to face the day.” Sam said.

 

Kayla giggled, a sound that seemed to invigorate Sam’s soul. He’d always told Kayla that it was time to ‘face the day’ when she said she didn’t want to get up. That was nearly always followed by him tickling her if she didn’t get up. When Kayla didn’t move, Sam crooked his fingers and smiled.

 

“You getting up?”

 

Kayla giggled again. “No.”

 

“You sure?”

 

“No.”

 

“Okay. You asked for it.”

 

Laughing was strange for both of them, but they did get up and start moving. Jess arrived a few hours later, and after Sam gave her the basics, Kayla filled in some of the gaps for both of them. Kayla was given a clean bill of health, and she agreed to start seeing a counselor. Dean, Bobby, and John worked on tracking down Art, and kept to themselves exactly what they were planning to do.

 

Sam and Jess stayed a few days, planning to leave after Kayla’s surprise Thanksgiving. Kayla became quiet again, and Sam worried she was slipping into depression. Gentle prodding only led to answers of “I’m fine” and “I’m just tired”. Finally, Wednesday night, Kayla convinced Dean to take Mary out for a few minutes so she could talk to her parents. Kayla walked into the kitchen to find her mom and dad at the table, having a cup of coffee and whispering in each other’s ear.

 

“Hey!” Jess said.

 

“Hi.” Kayla said quietly.

 

“Honey, are you _sure_ you don’t want me to help tomorrow?” Jess asked.

“I’m sure, mommy.” Kayla said. “I want to do it.”

 

“Okay.” Jess said with a pretend annoyed huff. “Fine.”

 

Despite the seriousness of what she had to say, Kayla smiled. “I actually wanted to talk to you guys about something else. But I’m afraid it’ll hurt your feelings.”

 

“Honey, what is it?” Sam asked.

 

Kayla took a deep breath before she admitted, “I don’t want to go home yet.”

 

“What?” Jess asked. “I thought…”

 

“It’s not because I’m mad at you guys.” Kayla assured Jess. “I do get why you did it. But it’s just…I love my school here. I’ve made a lot of friends, and I don’t want to just leave. And I feel…I feel safe here.”

 

“You don’t feel safe at home with us?” Sam asked.

 

“It’s not you guys. When I was at home, I felt like I always had to be on guard. Like Art might come back. I don’t feel that way here.” Kayla explained. “I sleep better. And I’m not so scared all the time. Please? Just let me stay till the end of the school year?”

 

Sam was suddenly hit with inspiration. “Let me and mommy talk about it. We’ll give you an answer later tonight.”

 

“Sam…” Jess said, confused. She didn’t like it, but she was willing to let Kayla stay if it meant a better recovery for her.

 

“We’ll talk about it.” Sam said, taking Jess’s hand and squeezing it. _Trust me._

 

Kayla fully expected them to say no. Dean came back with Mary, and Sam and Jess took her with them somewhere. The only explanation they gave was _we’re getting you your own surprise_. Kayla double checked she had everything she needed for dinner the next day while they were gone, and she wasn’t prepared for what her parents had to tell her when they got back that night.

 

“Well, sweetie, we want to ask you something.” Jess said.

 

“Okay.” Kayla held an excited Mary in her lap, who had to be reminded by her father to keep quiet and let mommy and daddy tell Kayla what was going on. 

 

“You’ve seen the house at the end of the street for sale, right?” Sam asked. “The white one with the yellow shutters?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Well, mommy and I were wondering how you felt about us buying it.” Sam asked.

 

“You mean…” Kayla was stunned.

 

“We’re moving here with you, Sissy!” Mary said excitedly. She then put both hands on her mouth. “Oops. Sorry, Daddy.”

 

“It’s okay.” Sam said. “So what do you think sweetie?”

 

“You’re moving back? To be with me?” Kayla asked. “Really?”

 

“If you want us to.” Jess said.

 

“What about your job?” Kayla asked. “We moved because your job was so much better there. I don’t want you to give that up.”

 

“My job means nothing compared to you. Mommy and I will figure it out. Do you want us to come back?” Sam asked. “What do you think?”

 

Kayla said nothing.

 

“It’ll still be a few weeks before we can come back.” Sam said, worried that her silence meant the answer was no. “I have to give my notice at work and we’d have to pack the house…”

 

“Yes.” Kayla said. “Yes. I want you to do it.”

 

“Sissy, what’s wrong?” Mary asked. “You’re crying.”

 

“Nothing.” Kayla said. “Nothing’s wrong.”   


“She’s happy, baby.” Jess explained. “Right?”

 

Kayla nodded in confirmation.

 

“You crying ‘cause you happy?” Mary asked. “Big kids is weird.”

 

Kayla laughed and squeezed Mary. “We’re back together.”

 

“Yeah.” Sam said sadly. “Listen. Mommy and I want to tell you we’re sorry again.”

 

“Daddy, don’t…”

 

“Just listen.” Sam said. “We’re sorry. We never should have sent you away. Not for any reason. And we promise it’ll never, ever happen again. No matter what, you will _always_ have a home with us.”

 

“Even if…” Kayla started to ask about the pact they’d made concerning Kayla’s drug tests.

 

“Always.” Sam said firmly. “No matter what.”

 

“Well, I don’t know what’s going on in here, but I’m ready for some pie.”

 

Kayla laughed. Dean had come back from wherever he’d gone the hour before. “Uncle Dean, Thanksgiving’s not ‘till tomorrow.”

 

Dean fake pouted. “No pie?”

 

“Not yet. We’ll have some tomorrow. Promise.”

 

“Okkkayyy.” Dean said. “Ice cream?”

 

“That we’ve got. Mommy, Daddy? Is it okay?”

 

“I guess.” Jess said. “You coming, babe?”

 

“I need to talk to you about something first, Sam.” Dean said.

 

“Go on. I’ll be right there.” Sam said. When Jess was in the kitchen with the two excited girls, Sam asked, “Did you find him?”

 

“Yep. We got the bastard in the trunk of the Impala. How do you want to handle this?”

 

**Next chapter (last one): Daddy, uncle Dean, uncle Bobby, and Grandpa deal with Art.**


	9. Chapter 9

“Yep. We got the bastard in the trunk of the Impala. How do you want to handle this?”

 

“Take him somewhere he won’t be found. You and me eat ice cream with the girls, then we’ll deal with Art after Kayla and Mary are in bed.” Sam said.

 

“The hell you will.” Jess said from the kitchen.

 

She walked over to the two of them and led them into the hallway, further away from the two giggling girls. Kayla was heard telling Mary they’d ‘have something even better than turkey’ for Thanksgiving and Mary replied back with ‘nuh-uh!’. Jess whispered low to Sam and Dean.

 

“Sam told me everything two nights ago after the girls went to sleep.”

 

“Told you…” Dean asked.

 

“Everything. Monsters, demons, vampires, all of it.” Jess said. “I’m fine with all of that. I might not have been before now, but now I know there’s something worse.”

 

“Wow.” Dean said with a smile. “You married a hell of a woman, Sam.”

 

“Dean, listen to me. I’m trusting you here. I want to tear that son of a bitch limb from limb. But Kayla needs me more than I hate him. I want him gone.”

 

“Yes, ma’am.” Dean said.

 

“Right now, you go in the kitchen, eat ice cream with the girls. Both of you. After they’re done, I’ll tell the girls we’re having a girls night in, and that Daddy’ll be back to tuck them both in bed. Deal?”

 

“Deal.” Dean said. “I’ll go tell Dad and Bobby the plan.”

 

When Dean closed the front door, Jess turned back to Sam and found him grinning. “What?”

 

“You’re such a sexy angry mom.” Sam said.

 

“You don’t kill this bastard tonight,” Jess said seriously, “you find out exactly what the meaning of ‘angry mom’ is.”

 

“Yes, ma’am.”

 

“You _do_ kill this bastard tonight,” Jess said, returning Sam’s grin as she placed a finger on his chest and closed the distance between them, “and you get to find out exactly what ‘sexy angry mom’ is.”

 

“I like the sound of that.”

 

Sam jumped. He’d been so caught up in flirting with Jess he hadn’t seen the front door open again. Dean was grinning suggestively towards Jess. But before anyone could respond, Jess started to giggle frantically.

 

“What?” Sam asked.

 

Jess pointed to the living room, where Kayla was holding a grinning Mary on her hip. Her hands were a mix of golden, red, black, and dark brown, while there was a definite white around her lips.

 

“She couldn’t decide which syrup she wanted, so she got all of them.”

 

“All of them?” Sam asked.

 

“Chocolate, caramel, strawberry.” Kayla said.

 

Jess, unable to say anything through her laughs, simply waved them back towards the kitchen. An hour later, Sam and Dean were leaving, and Jess was keeping both girls occupied with a movie inside the living room.

 

Arthur Lindstrom had always figured his life would end like this. He’d either be caught and go to jail or he’d be caught by some relative of a victim and be killed by them. Getting taken from work and driven across the country was a bit of a surprise, though.

 

He’d been tied up for the better part of a day. There was a hood over his head, with only a single hole in it to let in air. He had no idea where he was, and he was hot, hungry, and, though he’d never admit it, he was afraid. He’d tried fighting a couple of times, only to be kneed in the stomach and told by a gruff voice to ‘quit squirmin’ before I do to you what you did to that little girl’. Art had almost answered _which one?_ but his survival instinct made him shut up.

 

Finally, the hood was removed. The first thing he saw was that there were four men in the room with him. One of them, who looked to be the oldest of the group, held a shotgun in his hands. Another of them, a few years younger than the shotgun wielding one, simply had his arms folded against his chest glaring down at Art. The third one, a young kid who looked around the same age as Art, held a knife in his hand. The fourth one made Art’s eyes bulge.

 

“Sam?”

 

“Hey, pal. How you doing?” Sam asked casually.

 

“Sam, what the hell, man? What is goin’ on here?”

 

“Why don’t you tell me?” Sam growled.

 

“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”   


“Yeah? Because Kayla gave me a different story yesterday.” Sam said. “So I’ll ask you again. What the hell did you do to my daughter?”

 

“Nothing!” Art insisted. “Sam, whatever she told you, she’s lying.”

 

Suddenly, the shotgun wielding older guy pointed the gun towards Art. “Tell the truth. What’d you do to Kayla?”

 

“You shoot me in the stomach from this range, you’ll cut me in half!”

 

“Then it’s a good thing I ain’t aiming for your stomach.”

 

“What the hell is going on?” Art repeated. He struggled against the rope tying him to the chair. “Who are you?”

 

“Oh, I guess I should make introductions. Art, this is my brother, Dean.” Sam pointed towards Dean, who waved with the knife in his hand. “This is my uncle, Bobby.” Bobby stepped one inch closer to Art, gun still in the air, making Art squirm in his seat. “And this, the incredibly pissed off looking Marine in the corner, is John. My father. Kayla’s grandfather.”

 

Art swallowed. His life was over. His only chance now? Beg for mercy.

 

“Look, I’m sorry…”

 

“You’re _sorry_?” Sam asked, his voice never rising above the level of casual conversation, but nonetheless with a dangerous tone that left Art nervous. “Do you know how many times in the last day Kayla has told me how sorry she is for what _you_ did to her?”

 

“Sam, listen, she came after me first…”

 

“She was _thirteen!_ ” Sam said. “You _raped_ my thirteen-year-old daughter. And you threatened my five-year-old. Give me one good reason to let you live.”

 

“I’ll turn myself in.” Art said. “I’ll apologize to Kayla…”

 

“You will never approach Kayla or any other little girl again. Trust me, where you’re going, you’ll _wish_ you had turned yourself in sooner.”

 

“You know, I got to say.” John finally spoke from the corner, his deep baritone voice filling every corner of the room. “I’ve seen my granddaughter have nightmares and be terrified of you for the last four months. But you don’t look like that much to me.”

 

Art felt his anger rise at that, but he never got the chance to respond.

 

“Dad, let me say my peace first.” Sam said. “Then you can do whatever the hell you want to him.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

 

“It means that when I say this, I’m walking out that door, and I’m going home to my kids. Let me be clear here. You are going to die. Tonight. I don’t know what exactly these three have planned for you, but I hope they make your ass suffer. We have hunted some disgusting sons of bitches in our time, but I think all of us agree that you take the cake on any of them.”

 

Dean, John, and Bobby all nodded in agreement.

 

“And after we kill you, we are going to burn your body, and we are going to take your ashes and vacuum them up like the trash you are. But you’d better have the good sense to stay dead. Because if you think they’re dangerous, then you come back. I guarantee, if you do, I will make you wish you were back in hell.”

 

“Sam, please. Please don’t let them kill me.” Art begged.

 

“Are you afraid?” Sam asked. “Are you scared?”

 

“Yes.” Art admitted. “Please, please just don’t let them kill me.”

 

“Like Kayla was scared? She was a little girl. She trusted you, just like I did. But don’t worry. After they kill you, then you get to be the little girl.” Sam looked to Bobby, John, and Dean and told them seriously, “Make him hurt. A lot. I’m going home.”

 

Sam left the storage shed where they were holding Art, and he heard the first scream as he opened his car door. He made his way back home, where Jess, Kayla, and Mary were on the couch enjoying _Frosty the Snowman._ Mary had apparently crashed from the sugar she’d eaten that day, and was snoring against her mother’s side. Sam walked in, and a sleepy Kayla smiled up at him from underneath the blanket on the couch.

 

“Hey, Daddy.”

 

“Hey.” Sam smiled. “Can I watch with you?”

 

“Yeah.” Kayla whispered, moving over to give him room.

 

“Is it done?” Jess asked.

 

“It’s done.” Sam said, looking down at Kayla, whose eyes were slowly closing as she drifted off to sleep. “Kay?”

 

“Mm hmm?”

 

“You’re safe now.” Sam said.

 

“I know, Daddy.” Kayla said. “I’m with you.”


	10. Chapter 10

Kayla had banned the family from the kitchen and dining room that day, but she was glad she’d had the sense to ask Bobby’s family friend, who she referred to as Sheriff Jody, to help her. Various family members kept trying to come into the kitchen, but Jody would chase them out. Kayla finished Jody’s favorite dish first, the only way she would allow Jody to help. She placed the plate of turkey alfredo at the table and put the first of the homemade cards she had made at Jody’s seat.

 

“Looking good, kiddo.” Jody said with a smile.

 

“Thanks.”

 

The rest of the family’s late lunch came out quickly after that. By two o’clock, the table was full of food. Everyone had a plate of their specific favorite food, and in the center was a few more helpings of each dish so that everyone else could sample everything, not just what Kayla had made specially for them. Kayla placed the last card on the table, and she and Jody double checked everything before inviting the rest of the group inside.

 

“Hang on, kiddo.” Jody asked. “Where’s your plate?”

 

“I’ll just try some of everything.” Kayla said. “Come on, I want everyone to see it.”

 

Jody didn’t have a chance to respond before Kayla was calling her family into the dining room. Jody had never seen so many mouths hit the floor. Even though John and Bobby had known what she was doing, they were still impressed. Bobby’s plate contained barbeque chicken and a baked potato, John’s a steak with sautéed mushrooms and mashed potatoes, Sam’s grilled salmon and green beans, Mary’s spaghetti with meatballs that she exclaimed were ‘bigger than me!’, Dean’s a bacon cheeseburger and a slice of pie, and Jess’s a variety of vegetables with two homemade red velvet cupcakes. Kayla worried when no one except Mary said anything. As she hugged Mary back, who had nearly pulled her big sister down to the floor with the force of her excited hug, Kayla asked,

 

“Well? I know it’s not normal Thanksgiving food, but…”

 

“Kayla? Honey, this is wonderful.” Jess said.

 

“Really?” Kayla asked.

 

“Yes.” Sam answered sincerely. “But where’s yours?”

 

“Oh, um…” Kayla said uncomfortably. “I was just gonna try some of your guys’ stuff. I didn’t make anything for myself.”

 

“Well, it’s a good thing we did.” Bobby went to one of the cupboards and pulled out a dish with freshly made pork chops on them.

 

“Wha…when?” Kayla asked. She had commandeered the kitchen at five o’clock that morning and no one had been allowed in there.

 

“I made them last night. And I got Jody to heat them up while you were working on Dean’s pies, then hide them so you wouldn’t see them.” Bobby explained.

 

Kayla smiled. “Thanks, uncle Bobby.”   


“I don’t know about everyone else,” Dean said, “but I’m hungry. Let’s try this awesome food Kayla made.”

 

“Here, here.” Sam agreed. “Let’s eat.”

 

Three days later, Sam and Jess were headed back to Washington to pack up their house. Kayla, who had to go back to school, decided not to join them. Mary decided the morning they were due to leave that she was staying with Kayla and there was nothing anyone could do about it. No amount of cajoling or firmness from her parents, uncle, or grandparents could change her mind. Mary was in tears as her father placed her bag in the backseat of their rental car. Kayla finally convinced her when she knelt down and told Mary seriously,

 

“I need you to help mommy and daddy pack up the house. If you go, they can get it done faster and get back here to me faster. Okay?”

 

“You won’t be sad here wifout us?” Mary asked.   
  
“I’m always sad when I’m away from you. But they need your help right now. I’ve got grandpa and uncle Bobby, and that’s enough until you can come back.”

 

“You pwomise?” Mary asked.

 

“Promise what?”

 

“That they’re enough.” Mary said. “I don’t want you to be wonely.”

 

Kayla smiled. “Hey, answer this for me. What’s up in the sky at night?”

 

Mary sniffed. “The moon.”

 

“Right. Ask mommy tonight and she’ll show you how the moon keeps us together, even when we’re apart.”   


“Weally?” Mary asked.

 

“Yep. All we have to do is look up at the moon at the same time and say ‘I love you’. If we do it at the same time, we’ll both feel it. Promise me you’ll do it?”

 

“Pwomise.” Mary said. “Loves you sissy.”

 

“I love you too, pooh bear. Come on, give me a hug.”

 

Kayla helped get Mary into her car seat, then turned to her parents.

 

“We’ll be back soon.” Sam said.   


Kayla couldn’t help the small twinge of self-doubt. “Are you sure you want to give up your job? I can come back when the school year’s over…”

 

“Mommy and I will be back for Christmas. If we haven’t sold the house by then, then one of us’ll go back every couple of weeks until it is sold.” Sam said, cutting off Kayla’s objection.

 

“All we want you to worry about is helping your grandpa and uncle decorate for Christmas.” Jess said.

 

“Yes, ma’am.” Kayla said, smiling. “I love you guys.”

 

“We love you too, sweetie.” Sam said, grabbing her and Jess both in a tight hug. “Don’t ever forget that, okay?”

 

“I won’t. Go on, go ahead. The faster you go, the faster you can come back home.”


End file.
